I'm so frustrated.
We had our lesson with Cindy today, which I was anxious to do because I wanted to see if he was better with contact. And... nope. :( Sigh.... He felt looser and more swingy but when I took up the contact, he felt much more head bobbing. To the point that since Freddie was there, I even asked him to check his feet for me in case it was a hot nail or something. Nope... Of course not. That would be too easy.
Cindy said that he was very even but that I was arm wrestling him and holding him rather than encouraging him to lift. I had to try very hard to listen and do what she was saying. Not because I don't think that she's right, but because I was so worried that he's still lame. And it's frustrating that he's either lame or I suck as a rider and can't get him to go properly without looking lame. Sigh... Lose Lose.
But... we did get some good stuff out of the lesson. He felt like he was going in much more of a hunter frame, but he was lifting his back some. And I was able to get my hips to cooperate a little. I was pushing off of my toes, so Cindy was telling me to stop bracing on my toes. So... I admit it.. I got a little angry and was like "FINE..... How's this?!" and basically lifted my toes up so much that I basically picked my feet up out of the stirrups. Because I swear... I think I'm doing it, but clearly I'm not. Because once I did that, I found my seat better and my hips opened more like they are supposed to. It's just hard to get my legs to cooperate and my seat to not tense up. Then I was slapping the saddle with my butt, so I had to focus more on gliding, which did help and it did get better.
So... some good stuff in there. Cindy even said we were getting something... I can't remember what exactly now, but... something got really good. :)