Trust God

 Oooofffff... Today was hard. I don't know why it was worse today, but... I'm tired... I'm exhausted... I'm emotional... and ultimately, I'm worried about my boy. I know, scientifically, I know that he's likely going to be fine. It's likely just inflammation and irritation. He just needs time for the swelling to go down. But, it hurts my heart to see my baby boy ataxic and a bit angry still. He was maybe a hair better this morning. I took him for a little bit of grazing in the front yard. 

 

Later this evening I took him out for a little graze again and... I cheated again. I just turned him out with Lyric. I figured he was too ataxic and sore to do anything and maybe moving would help him out. Plus, I had to clean stalls and such and it's easier without him in the stall. Which, maybe that was the wrong choice. He's a bit worse perhaps. Sigh. While I was starting to panic about how maybe I've broken him forever... I saw a rainbow. Thanks God. Thank you. I desperately needed that God. I was praying that I knew I needed to just trust him. And that I knew Dan was in His hands and it would all work out how it was supposed to, whether or not that coincided with my thoughts and plans. But I was praying, nevertheless, that He heal him. And then... rainbow! Thank you God. Thank you for helping my unbelief. I love you. 

 

And... if I'm honest.. it's easy enough to give it to God and trust Him with it, because... what else can I do? Literally nothing. Well.. I guess I could panic and put him on prednisone. And I might anyways. But.. it's done. I followed what I thought God was telling me to do, so now I have to trust and let Him do His work. But it's hard for my momma heart to not worry. And it's hard because Dan is grumpy again because... (in my mind anyways) he hurts and his body isn't cooperating. But... it'll get better. I trust that it will.