Dressage again

It's been awhile. Dressage saddle actually didn't hurt at all... could sit the trot or post and cantering fine. Even downwards were fine (other than the one bad one). Got a buck or two because i had to use the whip, which wasn't pleasant but not terrible.

Right lead counter canter didn't happen for full 3 loop, but also ran out of of time. Left lead 3 loop wasn't bad at all. Did get a nice full change to the left accidentally on purpose. Meant to ask for bend around right leg, but took my leg too far back and got a lovely change.

Still utterly exhausted and just... on empty. On the verge of tears the entire lesson and cried when Cindy asked if I was ok. Sigh...

still don't know what to do... how to do it... when to do it...

went for a short hack... dan reared and scooted for seemingly no reason...

but eating again...