Finding Good in the Bad

Today was a productive day. :) Mike and I finished putting the step bars on my truck. :) I got the front porch pressure washed and Mike was able to chain saw up my twisted tree that had fallen, and left me the XC jump (just in case!). Then a friend came and looked at our farm. I think it would be perfect for them, but... And then I snuck out for a ride. It was just us and we had the whole farm to ourselves. It was a very pretty day too. 

Dan was a good boy. He was either tired or just not into shenanigans without any witnesses. I think he may be a bit tired because his hind end felt a little weak. He bottomed out a few times... but we did some more hills too, so... ?? I'm trying very hard to stay optimistic, but... when I feel stuff like that I panic. Is it because he's weak and unfit? Is it because I pushed him too hard too quick? Sigh.. He was also really obnoxious about eating grass. Guess I've been a little too lenient. 

But overall... it was a good ride. I'm on my pony. We had a lovely hack in lovely weather with lovely scenery. 

Fun with Friends

Today was a fun day! We met up with Cindy and Josh and Lexi and went for a hack. They let me lead, but Dan was still FULL of shenanigans. Like... we started out and he was bouncing like Tigger. He was trotting and was smart and put his nose to his chest, so I couldn't half halt anymore and he could stay trotting. Which felt sound! But he was rowdy! So then we got to the lake and Dan splashed and had a blast. And then Oliver rolled with Lexi on him! Doh! So then Dan got irritated I guess that he wasn't the center of attention and started backing up quick towards Josie. I didn't think he was going to kick her, but... he was backing up like he would. And then I was afraid she would kick him, because that's what he looked like he would do. So... I finally managed to get him moving and away from the group and not flailing around like a wild man. Lexi managed to pour out her boots and get back on and so we headed back to the arenas so Cindy could get Josie fitted for bridles. :) So Josh, Lexi and I went back out. Dan was still power walking and occasionally trotting but he settled down a tiny bit. We had a lovely ride and ended up back at the lake again where Oliver was put in time out and kept out of the water. Cedric and Dan had fun playing together. I think Dan thinks that him and Cedric could be besties. :) Hee hee. They probably would! 

So yep... a good day with friends to cheer me up after a very depressing day with mean upset clients. I was very sad and very depressed, so... today was good. :) 

Sigh.....

So... just gonna avoid all the depressing thoughts I'm having and the roller coaster of emotions... 

Freddie is amazing and came out and put the aluminum wedges on Dan and added pour in pads. The day after I called. And his fetlock is already much less bruised. No heat or swelling. So...we went for a ride. We met up with Kelli. Both of us are terribly sad and depressed and frustrated. Perhaps a nice long hack was just what we both needed. I don't want to do too much with Dan yet.. not until his injections and all, but... I figured we didn't have to stick quite so much to the 45 min max ride and no hills. So.. we had a nice quiet ride. We saw a hawk.. then another hawk. Dan was good... and trotted at one point, which felt quite nice and even. But then later today he looked short strided in the right hind. 

Dan is a conundrum

I actually should have slept pretty well last night. It was just cold enough to be a perfect temperature all snuggled in my covers (No hook up). And I took a migraine pill, but.. of course, I tossed and turned. I got up at 6:45 on my own and got dressed and then sat in my truck, which was super cold! I tried to nap while I was waiting for them and finally got to the super heavy dreamy state and finally fell asleep. I woke up to a text at 10 am and then chatted to friends for a bit while I waited... and waited. Finally Dr. Adair came out and said "Your horse is a conundrum"! Apparently they had been working on him all morning. They lunged him to get his antics out and then saw that he was super lame on the right front. Like "student lame" (meaning even the students could tell what leg was lame). Sigh...  So he was working that up and it basically blocked to his foot. He did say that the left hind blocked 60% to the tendon sheath and then the rest with the fetlock so.. he suspects we'll have to inject both. But now he thinks that the right front is more primary and the left hind is secondary to the right front. Still unsure how the meniscus on the right hind plays into things, but...despite yesterday, and the lunging this morning.. they still couldn't make him lame on the right hind. So.. we decided to pull his shoe and x-ray the foot. So... a bit later, he came out and said that the x-rays were unremarkable as far as pathology, but that the angles were a bit off and his soles were thin. So... his suggestion was now.... Inject the right front coffin joint, add aluminum wedge shoes to the fronts and pour in pads, and then also inject the left hind tendon sheath and fetlock joint and then... light riding for a month or so, and recheck and see what is going on in the right hind. No hard lateral work, light canters, hills okay, but zig zag down, and trails are fine. So.. he's not back on clinics til June 29th, so I'm scheduled for July 2nd. And then I've got Dr. Laura scheduled next week to do the injections.

So finally Dan and I got to head home. And I love that truck. We went 75-80 most of the way when traffic allowed. It was awesome. And getting in and out of the gas stations was easier without the dually too. Poor Dan... I think he was so sick of being in jail and starving. He nickered at me when I came back from a bathroom break and getting food. So I gave him a carrot.

I got him home and he's supposed to be in a stall, but... I decided that instead I would give him some ace and turn him out to eat because he would be less likely to hurt himself than in his stall, where he would likely be kicking and pacing and spinning. I hope I'm not wrong. His poor fetlock is bruised already. But he got home, peed, ate grass, rolled, and then trotted around a tiny bit. Then I aced him and fed him and walked him and Fleck to the front field and he was voraciosly grazing. Then I got to come inside and clean the house because we have a showing tomorrow. And Freddie is amazing and is going to come tomorrow and redo his shoes for me. Sigh.. so much for saving money on pour in pads. BUT... better than not having to pay for shoes...

Well.... D-Rex goes to Jurassic Park

Here goes! I got up at 4:30 this morning and got out to feed ponies at 5 am. I walked all the way to the front field to find them in the dark.. only to see Dan silhouetted in his stall door. So I walked all the way back up and couldn't find Fleck. And of course, Dan wouldn't go in his stall. So I finally had to get the lead rope and catch him and drag him in. He knew something was afoot! But then he loaded just fine and we headed out. I ended up leaving earlier than I needed to but it was nice to be able to make some pit stops and not be rushed. We got to the University of Tennessee at 10:10 for our 10:30 appointment. I was cracking up. Amanda warned me it was like Jurassic Park. And sure enough.. it's just the gates. Everything else is lovely. But you pull up to these big metal gates and lights start blinking and this siren starts squeaking and... then the gates open. And then you're in a holding pen in front of another set of gates that do the same thing. Hee hee... D-Rex is contained! For now!!! ha ha.. 


Because of Covid, I'm not allowed in the hospital, which really suck as I really wanted to see everything, but.. I get it. They whisked him away from me and I sat in the truck in the parking lot and worked on the schedule and talked to friends. Which, my new truck was great! We got here with no smoke, no overheating, no issues. And fast! I drove about 65-70 the whole way, which.. is not much faster than Sally goes, but... I was at 1.5 rpms instead of on the edge of redlining it, so.. yay for that. And I did hit 75 or so some of the time too. Anyways, the first time Dr. Adair came out to talk to me he explained that Dan, being Dan, was too busy flinging his head around to let the lameness locator work on the front end, but... he was showing lameness in the left hind. Wait, what?! He said no matter what he did, flexions, etc, he could not get him to be lame in the right hind. But flexing the left hind fetlock made Dan very angry and very lame. So... he went back in to do the blocks. The next time he came out he said that he blocked to the fetlock area on the left hind and there was a little bit of lameness on the right front. The right front lameness was worse on hard ground and the left hind lameness was worse on soft ground. He thinks the right front is just soreness from the left hind compensations. Because, when they blocked out the left hind lameness, the right hind also pretty much resolved. He said that the right hind stifle arthritis wasn't too terrible and seemed like we could manage it. His suggestion was to x-ray and ultrasound the left hind and unless there was anything alarming, then keep him overnight to more specifically block the left hind fetlock tomorrow to see whether it was the tendon sheath or the joint. Then we could treat it with an injection and put him back to work. He said he might go ahead and inject the right stifle too and then just see how he does. So I agreed but also asked that he ultrasound the right meniscus for my sanity. 

So... the x-rays and ultrasound of the left hind were unremarkable. Some swelling of the tendon sheath but no obvious tears or problems in the tendons and nothing exciting on the rads. BUT.... see, I knew I got too excited too quick... the meniscus was "gnarly". He was a little shocked that he couldn't make Dan lame on the right hind. He said even considering he's been off work for the month, he's still been yahooing in the pasture and they trotted him an awful lot today and he never showed any lameness. So... he still suggested the same thing, but wants to recheck the right hind in a month and see. It's likely that the left hind is compensatory for the right hind... or maybe vice versa. I think, if my overwhelmed brain is remembering and understanding, that the right stifle is chronic and there's not much luck we'll have success with arthroscopy, but that he may do well with maneagement of it. He also thought that maybe 3rd level dressage was going to be tough, more tough than jumping. But... it's Dan and he also expected him to be more lame so... ??

So then I went to say hi to Dan, who was eating dinner and the little twit pinned his ears at me and backed away from me. Thanks Dan.. thanks. That's embarassing you little twit. Sigh... Oh well. So tonight I'm sleeping in my trailer in their parking lot and then we'll get him blocked in the morning and head home. And then Dr. Molony can inject that fetlock and we'll just have to see how he does. And then, as I was laying down I was thinking that I had packed hay and feed for no reason and Dan seemed to be enjoying the feed they gave him. I was wondering if it was senior or what.. and then I started thinking about the hay and HOLY CRAP!!! IT WAS IN A HAY BAG HUNG FAIRLY LOW!!!!! ACK! So, I called the front desk and the emergency people answered and I asked them to please pull it down and they said they would. Phew! That's all I need. I can't believe I didn't notice it when I was in there... I mean, I did, but my poor tired brain is too tired to register. 

Another walk... a final walk?

Ugh.. today was emotional. It was a gorgeous day and I tried really hard to enjoy the moment with Dan and enjoy our walk. But..I couldn't help but worry. I felt sick to my stomach and like I was going to vomit most of the day worrying about our vet visit and what I would hear. I know that there is nothing I can do to change it, other than pray.... and it is what it is, but.. man, it's just so heartbreaking. And then I felt awful thinking that maybe this all started with the damn haynet injury and if I could just turn back time and stop myself and say "Yes.. he WILL get stuck, don't be lazy and pull the hay bag out"...maybe we'd be getting our bronze medal about now, and have qualified for the AEC's at training level even.... And maybe my poor baby boy won't have a life full of discomfort and pain because of me. Sigh.. but maybe it's not related to the hay net. He could have easily done something in the pasture, because... Dan! 


So I spent the whole trail ride bawling and praying and not even really knowing what to pray for. I mean... I could pray for a miraculous cure, but why do I deserve that? I could pray for him to still be able to jump, but that's unrealistic. I could pray that we could at least get our bronze but I really really want to jump him. I miss that so much. So instead.. I basically prayed for His will and for Him to give me the strength to handle whatever his Will is... for Him to give me the wisdom to make the right choices regarding the situation and for... Him to forgive me for being so selfish when so much is wrong in this world. And I cried for my pony... I cried for me.. I cried for others. 

And then, Dan made me giggle. He stopped to sniff the ground (one of the 50,000 times it seemed) and picked up a branch with a bunch of dried leaves on it. He was crunching away at them and sounded like he was eating potato chips. I had to laugh. We had a good ride... lots of sniffing of the trails, lots of snacking, and he was a good boy. 


So tomorrow... we shall see....