Well Fudge

Dan is still lame. And it's worse now. I'm not sure if it's worse because he's not as fit/muscle strong... it got worse... we corrected some of the other lameness's so the main lameness is more obvious... So now he is dancing/hopping behind to pick up canter and throwing head up in air to do it. He is still reactive to flexion of the right front fetlock, but he doesn't trot out lame after the flexion. And he was also reactive when we picked up the right front to evaluate the base of neck. When I ride, and we slow motion videoed him... he added a stride, but behind only, to the jump when tracking right. It looks like he also tapped off the right hind, not pushing off, and put most of the weight on the left hind. Tracking left it's not so obvious. He's reaching up nicely with the right hind though.  After he did that, he then proceeded to jump normally 4 more times, even with the jumps raised. So... we figured he was just excited and happy to be jumping. 

So today... we go back to lasering the stifle, and the both hind high suspensories and equiox and light trails at the walk. Then we'll reassess. The right front lameness appears to be in the swing phase, not the landing phase. Which does make us suspicious of the neck... when he brings that leg forward, it compresses the neck. Plus he's much more lame and MUCH more behind my leg the more compressed I ride him/the tighter the frame. So, maybe it is his neck??? And other compensatory issues. 

So anyways... today we went for our quick 30 min alloted hack. It was a gorgeous day with gorgeous weather. We had a great ride. He was super and stayed on the buckle most of the ride. And we finished up at the small dam by the trailer parking. We scared the heron and he flew up and flew across our path to the other side. It was awesome!! Dan didn't even flinch. 
 

Vacation's over

For me anyways. We had a lovely few days at the beach with my family. It was good timing... no horse stuff to get home for.. and just early enough in the house sale that it's not too stressful to leave. So yeah. But... unfortunately, since Dan is still lame and since the house needs to be packed, we came home a little early.

And since we came home early... I went to say hi to the ponies. Maybe they were expecting dinner, but ... maybe they missed me! Dan was at the gate. So.. we went for a quick ride. We had fun. We just went for a long hack and planned to just walk and trot a little. We went to the back hay field and started in the path of the "fire swamp" and suddenly Dan froze. There was a balloon in the field and he could just barely see it. He stared and stared and then bolted! I managed to get him stopped but he was freakin' out, so... we turned around and approached it from the open field to make it a bit more approachable. Dan still said no, but at least he kept his cool and managed to walk past it instead of galloping away. So then we did a little trotting in the field and then headed to the arena to feel him out. I was pretty sure I could feel the lameness in the field though.

And yep.. it's still there. Although I swear today it feels worse on the right. ??? So.. who knows? We did do a little bit of trotting in the arena... and then cantered both ways. Then we did our lateral walk work and he was soooo good. I couldn't help it. We half passed a couple of steps at the trot and it was quite lovely. We only went right.

Anyways.. it was a great ride and a great day. Hot, but not too terrible and a decent breeze. It's just very sad to not be able to do more than just hack. But we still enjoyed the hack. :)

Bug Out Ride

Today was a hot steamy day.  I woke up at 4:45 with a migraine... woke up at 6:45 thinking it was 8:45... then went back to bed til 8:45 and still felt hung over from my migraine meds. But... stuff had to get done. I did my paperwork and then went to go ride. I did not want to go to Ashland because they were having a show. And... I'm sorry... it just hurts my heart. I don't want to keep seeing people do what I want to do. I don't want it rubbed in my face that I've failed... I don't want to have to chit chat and make nice small talk with people when my heart is hurting so much. So... we bugged out! We decided to go ride at the horse park. And my oh my.... talk about bugs. It was SOOOOO buggy! Like.. not enjoyable it was so buggy. 

We started out at the rings and went to the water complex. Dan was still scared and wouldn't go through the bridge. I didn't push it because who knows? Maybe he's right and it's not secure. Plus it was too hot and I just didn't care. What's it matter? So we went around it and then headed towards the woods. I didn't go in the back woods because it's so eroded there and the footing is so uneven. So we stuck to the top part. Which was really buggy. We did a little bit of trotting when the footing allowed to get away from the bugs. And then a tiny bit of canter too. Then we were heading towards the trailers when Dan picked up a clump of weeds. He couldn't chew through it immediately so he had a blast with it for a bit before it finally flung off. Hee hee... Thanks for making me laugh buddy!

Danny goes bananas    Oh Danimal... You are hilarious!



So then we hit the semi flat area and there was a big deer there! She bounded off and I did a few trot circles. He actaully felt sounder going left... sounder today in general but also sounder going left than right. But it was really hard to tell. It felt like he was throwing that right shoulder way out too. So... maybe he's just compensating better today. 

And then it was too buggy and too hot to do much else so we headed back. I had things to do anyways. 

Emotional Roller Coaster!

Holy moly someone needs to feed me some hormonal balancing drugs.. or some bipolar behavior drugs, or something. I need to get my shit together!!! Again, I didn't sleep well. I'm stressing about the house....  The new tile looks beautiful and all the rot is gone and it's done properly! But it's not 100% done, nor is the siding. But oh well. It is what it is. And of course I went from not wanting to sell because "where will we go" to wanting to sell because... "I have dreams"!. Sigh.. Whatever.. I need to remember I put it in God's hands and trust that He has a plan. 

Before I could clean before the inspection though, Freddie came for Dan and Fleck. Holy moly did Fleck grow some toe! So Dan got done. And.. unfortunately the helper went to pull his shoes and picked up his left hind pretty high. (Which is completely acceptable, except....) Dan took offense. He wasn't naughty.. he just wavered around some and was clearly trying to avoid putting all that weight and possibly torque on his stifle. But.. it broke my heart. And just is another piece of information piercing my heart. Freddie was amazing and was very gentle after they saw that and there was no more issues. I tossed them back out and then I cleaned up the house some... cut away the rose vines that are encroaching on the porch and then... decided to go ride. My heart couldn't handle anything else. I just.... I'm broken. So broken right now. 

Kelli was riding too. She left Arwyn at home and just brought Marvin and she beat me there. She was doing dressage and dang he looked good! Really good. So while they were finishing up, I went in and did our walk routine. He felt good but I did feel like maybe he wasn't putting his right hind exactly where I wanted it as well today. Like, maybe he was moving around that a little bit. But.. it wasn't bad. So then Kelli finished and came up and we trotted. Yep, still lame, even with the gram of bute. Sigh. It maybe felt a little better, maybe a little worse. I don't know. Kelli said she could have sworn it's right front, but I almost felt right hind. So.. who knows? Maybe it is that right front foot and maybe I do need to MRI it. 

I didn't do much more for obvious reasons so we went for a hack. The boys were good and we went to the lake and Dan splashed around. Then we walked to the woods and went to the creek but Marvin decided he didn't want to go through it today. So we turned around and went back. I ended up leaving Kelli to go home while I stayed in the XC field because I wanted to do a little bit of trotting straight lines, to help strengthen him a little. And because... I needed it. As long as he felt sound in straight lines, I felt like that was okay. Maybe not.. but.. my heart needed it. So... we did. And I'm not sure if it's because he was missing Marvin... as he was doing his little sad quiet neigh under his breath... or because he felt good.. or both, but.. he felt good. We did a few long trots.. And I was trying to keep him contained but he was power trotting!! Not a medium, but bordering on a lengthen. I did a tiny bit (like 4 steps each way) of leg yield in the trot. And then we did two short little canter stints. He picked up both leads the first time I asked and felt good. We trotted a little bit more back towards home and then walked the rest of the way. 

So yeah... ??? 

Sob Fest

So.... I'm exhausted... emotionally and physically. We got an offer on our house.... by a friend. And I made the mistake of trying to fix up some tiles in the bathroom... which created a huge job... because there is rotting wood behind the tile. So now we have the inspection on Thursday... and our shower is gutted so they can fix it. And we still have to fix the siding....  All by Thursday at 1 pm. And in the meantime.... I don't think we can afford what I want next. We can't find any land that's affordable that isn't in south bumble. And we can't find any houses that work even if they don't have a barn... So yeah... I'm a little stressed. And then because of that, I've not slept well for the past few days. And then add in Dan.... and of course, now I've found 3 baby horses that are tempting. But... if Dan is broken... sigh. So yeah. I'm really emotional right now. 

So... Liz and I had plans to meet. I told her I could be ready to trail ride at 9:30/9:45. So I got on at 9 and went for a quick walk around the small lake and then headed to the arena. We did our walk warm up... turn on the forehand, turn on the haunches, rein back, stretchy walk, half pass, shoulder in, haunches in, and leg yields. And he was awesome. Super! So... then we trotted. And he feels bad. Like.. he almost feels lame tracking right even. Sigh. So... we quit. It was 9:30 and Liz still wasn't here, so... I went out on the trails anyways. I just couldn't stay in the arena. So we hit the trails and I just started bawling. My poor baby boy. He felt so bad. And he felt so broken. And you could tell he was trying. It just broke my heart. And then his stifle has felt so unstable lately. And he's resting that leg when he's urinating. And I'm sure that the air biting and crankyness is because he hurts. And it's hard not to take it personally. I feel guilty. He hurts and I'm over here pushing him and making him work. So.. yeah, I just lost it. I'm crying because he hurts... crying because I know that there's really no hope for us... I'm crying because I'm terrified that he's sore and is going to be crippled and have a poor quality of life. I'm crying because it's just effing not fair. 

So we went for a hack to the lake. He was sniffing the ground like crazy. He's such a bloodhound. I still hadn't heard from Liz. So then I went to the area where they did the dog training and Dan was sniffing the ground like crazy. Then we flushed out a deer and Dan almost bolted. But he didn't. So then we headed back to the lake and saw Liz. She had left her phone at home, so that was why she couldn't call me. She asked how I was and I broke down into tears. Again. Sigh... 

So then after we chatted about me and hacked a bit, I asked how she was and she broke down into tears. Both of us are struggling today. We're both bawling and I looked back and said "Well this is fun, we should do this again"! Ha ha. Sigh... 

So then I had to head home to go to work. I think I will give Dan bute (or previcox) from now on and see how he does. But... I really don't think it's fair to keep "working" him. I guess I could trot and canter straight lines in the field. 

Well Poo....

Well poo....

While Dan's leg wasn't swollen today... he was lame. We had a great warm up walk... then we hit the arena. We had fun doing our walk warm up. Dan was almost perfect for leg yields, shoulder ins, haunches in, half pass, turn on the forehand, and turn on the haunches. We also did halt and rein back and stretchy walk. He was really really good for all of it. Like, actually moving his body appropriately. Yay! We worked on our homework from back when we were lessoning with Kelly. Pushing into the outside rein. he was a bit behing my leg.

So... then I picked up the trot. We started out tracking right and it was okay. Maybe a little funky feel to it, but... not glaringly obvious. But then I changed direction. And he's lame. Like, legit lame... not just rein lame. :( Sigh.. I think it's the right hind. Which, is the leg we haven't treated recently, so....  I only did a tiny bit of trot and then we quit. No sense in making it worse. So we went back out on the trail. He felt better trotting straight. And we cantered a little bit. Just... to help my heart.