On the buckle

 So... today was a good day! I think Dan is grateful that I heard him and realizes I'm trying. And he's trying. I swear he seems happier and less anxious already. 

We had a lesson with Jacel. I almost cancelled to keep doing what I was doing, but I honestly wanted her opinion and technically I had already scheduled one last week that got rained out... and then Sat got "winded" out... so I ketp todays. And I'm so glad I did. 

I met Kelli early and while she lunged and rode a bit, I did some groundwork. Pillar 1 stuff. He was super distracted because random noises kept going off in the distance. BUT... we did get some good work and he was licking and chewing, so yay. After that we went and hung out while I waited for Kelli to finish up so we could hack. I did a little bit of abduction work with him... I have no idea if that's recommended or not, but they kept saying how abduction was great for building up those muscles to protect the nerve bundle, so we did some lateral work at the walk and some turn on the haunches but.. modified. Not a true dressage version, but a phsyio version. In my opinion anyways. Then we went for a walk. We ran out of time so basically just went to the lake and back. 

Then it was time for my lesson. I basically told Jacel all the thoughts I had in my head and she agreed but also discussed that he has to use his hind end to. And reminded me that in order to free up his hind end and back he has to unlock his barrel. Yes.... I agree. She had us start off at the walk. And she watched a minute. I was on a loose rein but was trying to keep him unbraced. She asked me to leg yield in and out and noticed immediately that my arms got tight (my arm veins bulged! ha) and that I immediately went to his face. Even on a loose rein. So she told me to not get tense but instead widen my hands. If he hollowed, just widen my hands and turn my thumbs out to unlock his jaw and he immediately softened. Okay... so she reminded me again to not ride his head. Then she told me to drop the reins entirely. She said that I was too busy doing his job for him. I didn't let him figure it out on his own. So on the buckle... she had me turn to her.. then turn the other way. Basically we did figure 8's. Off my seat and leg aids. And it made me move my shoulders and upper body too. It was tough at first. It's hard not to go to my hands. But it was a great exercise. And duh.. one I had been doing for a bit. Not exactly the same way or for the same reasons, but for awhile there I was "practicing for bridleless riding" by riding on the buckle in my warm up. And noted that it helped my focus on my position. And my seat and leg aids. Duh. So yeah... The other great thing was that it got me riding off my leg position too. Like... for some reason I was clamping down both legs asking for a leg yield.. basically shutting the door. If I opened/softened my leg, I allowed room for his barrel to move over. And then, we progressed to turns and for whatever stupid reason.. it finally dawned on me how to get him to bend around my inside leg. And it was like all the little lightbulbs... because when I moved him around my inside leg, and used my upper outside leg to move the shoulder, and turned my shoulders, he flowed around the turn. And he stayed on the "correct lead".... he didn't tip or motorcyle.. his dorsal spinous processes stayed upright. OHHHHHHH... this is nice. And he agreed. He became more forward and energetic and started moving those hind legs instead of just dragging his toes. 

So then we trotted. And... he immediately hollowed into it and then shut down. She asked why I was gripping with my knees. Well... because I'm trying to turn my heels out and look dressage pretty. She said not to. She actually had me open my knees (ACKKKK... my brain rebelled at first, but... fine...) and then sit deep. And holy smokes... I may have looked stupid as all get out, but... I could actually sit my seat in the saddle without clenching my cheeks and Dan was able to move forward! Ahhhhhh... okay. I can dig this. It's probably not pretty and I might cry if I saw photos or videos but... if my horse is happy, I'll go with it. Maybe it's a stepping stone. Maybe once I figure out my seat (even if it means knees out) then after I get comfy there, I can start getting my legs drapier and a more "proper" dressage position. So we did that and we turned and did figure 8's and I didn't need my reins. And Dan stayed soft and happy and I'm pretty certain he never once braced in the underneck. Partially because he couldn't... I had no contact for him to lean on. 

Then we went into the canter. And.. it was a decent canter! He took a few strides to settle but then he breathed and blew and stretched down and was soft and happy and round. Jacel said his tail had lifted up a bit (in a good relaxed his back is moving way) and I felt that. I mean, I felt that his back was happy and relaxed. And he was flowing. He fell out of it a few times, but it's okay. Strength training buddy, strength training. So then, she had me pick the canter back up and take my reins up an inch. No change. Then we took them up another inch or two. No bad changes, but he started to shorten his body just a hair and collect up just a hair. NICE!!! This is cool. Then we took the reins up a bit more. Still not "on the bit" or with any real contact, but... he rounded right up and I swear it was the most flowy and back moving and round and nice canter we've had in a while. So... that was really kind of exciting. 

She was like... see?! He just needs you to stop riding his face. Essentially. She might have said it nicer. But I had to stop micromanaging and holding him up and fighting him. She said some of his inconsistency was him looking for me to tell him what to do and where to be. Nope, sorry dude. You have to hold yourself up now. And he was figuring it out. And I think he liked it better! It was definitely MUCH less stressful. And not once did his tongue come out. And not once did he snatch at his shoulder other than the very beginning when I wasn't truly letting go. 

So... that's the plan. Ride like that for a bit. Keep doing the pillar work. And see what happens. And yes... I do wonder if he was still on the forehand some.... in the sense that he felt "quick" but not necessarily in an unbalanced on the forehand quick. Really... not the same feeling as I've had before when I said he felt like he was running onto the forehand and I was having to hold him up. He just felt... faster. But perhaps that was forward and not just fast/running. And maybe the super slow pace I was having to go to to get him to bring his balance back to his center.... was only because of the heavy contact in his mouth? I don't know. Maybe today was still a bit to "on the forehand" but I do think it was better and we can't expect him to carry himself in a third level rocked back on the haunches frame immediately. So.... we shall see. I'm optimistic and he's happier, so... yay for that! 

So.. remember... 

on the buckle. he must carry himself. no rigid arms...wide arms if I need to get him to let go again. Turn the thumbs out to "unlock" the jaw if needed. Ride the turns around my inside leg and guide with the outside leg. Keep him on all four table legs/upright. turn my knees out to soften my butt cheeks and sit up and back. 

:) 

Pillar 1

So... my brain has been so frazzled and stressed and trying to percolate through so much information, I honestly don't know what's what anymore. There is still tons more to learn/unravel/sift through... at the moment, I'm hopeful and optimistic again. 

Basically I went rabbit hole diving into the thoracic sling weakness and nerve impingement stuff and am fairly certain that this is Dan's problem. I found a bodyworker who specializes in it and she has given me hope again. I'm accepting the fact that it will take a bit and I'll have to "start all over" again to a degree. And we won't be showing third level in the Spring. BUT... that's okay. Because at this point, I just want to make my pony happy and get us back to having fun again. And I'm optimistic that by taking some time to get him strong and able to use himself properly and getting that nerve unpinched... he'll be able to do the upper level work correctly and we'll have a change in no time. But we will see. 

Anyways... I've been watching and learning and am humbled, horrified, and excited all at the same time. So we started practicing the first step. It's groundwork and his response to pressure. He's awfully ADD and whether it's "nerves" or just silliness, there was a lot of chewing on the rope and me, but... we did manage to get some stuff accomplished. He does let go of his underneck pretty easily in hand... and is able to walk forward with it. I'm not quite sure we have his balance underneath him yet, instead of in front of him, but... baby steps. And I'm not 100% convinced that I need to stop riding him to focus on this yet, but I may get to that point. But I'm not there yet. 

Best $22 spent :)

YES!!!! I spent $22 on this dog toy at Tractor Supply... and was wondering if I should have. Yes... yes I should have and I'm so glad I did. Dan LOVES it.  :) 

Once he woke up from his nap and found it. ;) ha ha.. Such a silly boy. But he had so much fun playing with it. And he has good aim. Ha ha. After I rescued it from the tree, I then had to rescue it from over the fence 3 times in the next few days. Sissy wasn't as impressed and can't quite figure it out, but Dan loves it. 

Sunshiney hack

So... I went down a rabbit hole. I found a bodyworker who focuses on thoracic sling improvement to resolve nerve impingement. And her description of what the lack of a built up thoracic sling does to the brachial plexus and the resulting symptoms is SPOT ON for Dan. Like.... OOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH... maybe this is the answer. Maybe this is the reason he's had the inconsistent but persistent rein lameness.. why he's snatching at the bit, why his tongue is out, why he's grabbing at his shoulder. Why he's angry all the time. So... I dived in. She has a 1:1 zoom session to help you work through things, so I booked one for her earliest availability which is in April. Then I dived into her facebook page and found her private facebook group, so I joined that. It wasn't super cheap, but at this point... what have I got to lose? And it's fascinating! I've been watching her videos and it all makes sooooo much sense. I'm really optimistic that this is the missing piece of Dan's puzzle. 

Basically what it boils down to is he has never properly built up his thoracic sling, pectorals, or abductors so he is creating compression on his brachial plexus. Which makes sense on why shockwave and injecting the shoulder bursa area and even injected the base of his neck seems to help temporarily but never really resolves it. So... I'm in. I'm game. Let's do this! She has a 3 step process to building that sling... 

1: Respone to contact and releasing the neck muscles

2: Engaging the pectorals and thoracic sling and moving your energy ball to your core, vs out in front of you

3: building up the abductor muscles. 

In theory... she recommends taking time off from riding while you do this work. It's basically groundwork for 10-15 minutes a day. But it could easily take a month or more to get them strong and built up. And in the meantime, you're just strengthening the dysfunction. Which, makes total sense. BUT... in talking to Rana, while she agrees with the end result and even has very similar/if not the same philosophy, she thinks that Dan needs to learn how to do it under saddle with contact. So I'm struggling. I don't know whether to stop riding for a bit... which honestly, lately it's not been much fun, so why not? But I also trust Rana and her knowledge and skill so....  She also suggested leaving Dan with her, but... I just can't. I feel like I've damaged my relationship with him and I feel like I need to fix it and sending him to Rana isn't going to help that part of it. Although in theory, it would be easier... and certainly she will do a way better job than me of fixing the under saddle part, but.. I can't do it. I just... can't. Not right now. Maybe while I'm out of town at the beach.... But not right now. Although hopefully by June we'll be back on track!

Anyways, while I'm still figuring things out, I met Kelli for a ride. I did our homework on the ground... pillar 1 and such for a good bit and then got on. I basically tried to do the pillar work while in the saddle too. We mostly walked with a tiny bit of trotting. Then Kelli and I met up with Judy and went for a long hack. It was kind of nice because I could keep his walk small so that Kelli and Judy could keep up and it helped me focus on keeping Dan's energy ball back in his core, vs in his poll. So... we shall see. 

Baby Steps.... emotional baby steps

 So.... now I'm stressing and obsessing about his stupid tongue. It's been coming out enough rides in a row that I'm panicking. And now wondering what the issue is. So today, I tried riding without the german to see. I tried to be his cheerleader and tell him how amazing and awesome and wonderful he is. And it didn't work. His tongue came out almost immediately. Like... I'm not even asking anything and the tongue is coming out. Sigh...  I'm not going to lie. I'm starting to get very depressing adn ready to just quit and turn him out for 6 months. But we didn't. We rode. I tried very hard to be soft and quiet and let him have his face, other than not bracing or inverting. I'm trying buddy, I'm trying...

Thankful for my Tribe

  So.... today, it didn't rain, but it was a gloomy cold damp day. Cindy met me at Ashland and checked my saddle. She said he did NOT need the wider tree, so yay for that. And she tweaked it a little... it had a few dead spots. She also showed me that it needs to be farther back. So, on the right side.. the front of the saddle needs to be right behind the "crook" mark in his white marking. BEHIND IT! So now I have a marker. I told her to call me in a week and remind me. ;) ha ha! It did help though. It made it so my legs could hang better and rotate my hips in better, thus keeping my spur out of his side. Yay! 

So anyways... she watched us ride and he actually felt pretty good. He was rooty and snatched the reins a few times and did that thing where he bends his neck in half and pivots and then stops and stares. But I gave him lots of loose rein breaks and we only did short stints of work. I didn't do a ton but just focused on a soft reaching and not inverted. Cindy and Kelli (who had shown up at this point) both said he looked soft and forward and not stressed and like he was using himself well. Cindy got video. And he does look soft in parts. He looks braced in some. And he looks awfully downhill in my opinion. Sigh. So Cindy headed to go ride her pony and Kelli hung out and watched. 

I did more work and talked through some more things with Kelli. Like how I'm trying to get his "holes" in his neck base to go away but it's so hard, especially going to the left. And how I'm afraid that if I focus on that, I'm losing sight on the hind end. So we worked through it. She had some REALLY good points. She reminded me again that he gets too quick. And when he gets too quick he starts running on the forehand but when I slow my tempo and make him wait and slow his roll... he starts using himself better. She also pointed out that I really need to hold that right rein going to the left. Like, hold it more. And more. He needs to be straighter. And at first, I was annoyed, because... I am holding the right rein. But then he counterflexes so I use the inside rein to get the flexion back, and "forget" about the outside rein. But she's right. (As is Rana). I really need to hold that right outside rein and ask for suppleness through it and through bending his rib cage. Because when he does go into that right rein he is nice! But it's hard for him. And he throws me hard core to the inside, so... maybe if instead of focusing on the neck holes... If I focus on keeping that right rein consistent and firm and focus again on rotating my pelvis so that he can roll his barrel and dorsal spinous processes and bend and stand back up on that right shoulder and left shoulder evenly... he gets really nice. And it's hard... and he fights it. And he falls out of it, but... when I do that.. especially with a slower tempo, it's quite nice. We got some nice canters too, with the same principles. 

Then we talked. Kelli also agreed with Cindy that I push him too long. They both think the biggest issue we've run into recently is just fatigue. Mental and muscle. We had a long talk. And I came to some realizations. Yes he is fit. But he's not strong. And I've known this... and I've thought that I've been slowly building him up. But maybe I haven't been as slow and methodical as I think. And he's just like me. He's going to push and power through and keep going until he's fried. And then when he's fried.. he's done. I also wonder if perhaps all the building work I've been doing.. he's been "cheating" a little. And then when we added the draw reins and the german reins... he couldn't cheat. Which is the goal, but... at that point.. I thought he was fit enough to hold it for the whole ride. But he was "cheating" up until that point, so suddenly, he couldn't cheat and now he's being expected to hold it really correctly and truly the entire ride. And that's a huge jump for his fitness. And that's maybe why his tongue is coming out and he's stressing and fighting. Because he isn't ready for it. 

So... my plan is to go back to quality. Go back to slowing the tempo and focusing on straightness and correct and quality. And get it... then get out. And be happy. And quit with that. The goal will be short and sweet rides, not long rides. I'll still aim for 3rd level work, but focus more on getting quality and building strength. And I'll need help. Because I am who I am and Dan is who he is. So we'll need reminders to slow it down and quit with that. And not get greedy. But I do feel like maybe we can get back to 3rd at some point and get a change and have a good quality test at 3rd rather than a stressed angry ride. I hope so anyways. 

I do love him. And I feel so bad that I've screwed up so much lately. I know he'll forgive me. Maybe not immediately. But hopefully soon. And hopefully I'm right and not missing anything. I did have another moment of panic today because... after our ride... I watched Kelli ride. I got off and did some fascial work and TTouch work while I watched. And then when she was done (which wasn't a lot of work but seemed to be a long time between her getting tacked up, lunging, riding...then I hopped on him.... then she got back on), we went for a quick walk to the lake and back. Dan was fine. We got a drink and then another horse went by on the other side of the lake and they looked. Dan was fine... "oh, it's just a horse". But then that horse must have spun and bolted because they were suddenly cantering the other way and the rider started yelling at the horse. Both Dan and Marvin got all freaked out. Dan half thought about spinning and bolting but didn't. Then I started off and he got all spazzy. Like he was rooting and doing his tongue thing and snatching at the bit. It was so annoying. Like... just walk dude. For about 3 minutes he had a little "tantrum" and then we were walking and he mostly settled again. What the heck? Kelli was like... "it's cause he got all upset about that other horse". Maybe, but... that doesn't usually set him off like this. Not with his tongue. :( So now I'm wondering if I'm missing something... ulcers? Was he just done for the day and checking out? (Kind of like me... by the time we got back and I got Kelli to stop talking so I could go home because my head hurt and I was hungry and cranky... I was just done. I just desperately wanted to go home and not still be there). So ... who knows!? 

An onion. He's an onion. And it's like that stupid quote that I really don't like. "the difficult horses teach you the most". Sigh.. It's not that he's difficult. But he's not easy. And he certainly is teaching me a ton, and a lot about myself too. It's kind of scary how alike we really are. I work much harder at not being snarky to people (pinning my ears) than he does, but neither of us are very peopley or touchy feely. ha. 

Oh well. We'll see what happens as we go. I'm just going to keep trying to do my best for him. 

Playing hookie and babysitting sissy

 Today was a good day. I was scheduled to be at one farm down the road and they only had 6 horses for me so I finished up at 2ish. Yahoo!! Time to ride. I'm laughing (sadly) a little bit as this week has been so wonderful for riding, yet... not. I had half days Mon, Wed and Fri thanks to cancellations and/or less horses and my usual Tues and Thurs off. So I could literally ride every day this week. And it was supposed to rain basically all week. And even though it's not actually been raining the entire week, Dan doesn't want to dressage. Sigh. But that's okay. It's not the end of the world. There are lots of good things. 

Anyways, I got home, ate lunch, and grabbed the heathens. Poor Fleck was super sad to be left alone, but he seemed to settle quickly. My plan was to just hack with Dan and Funny and let Dan have a fun relaxing no pressure day. Funny loaded up fairly quickly but did take a minute. When we got to Ashland I made them both stand on the trailer while I went to the bathroom. Then I made her stand on there while I groomed and got Dan mostly tacked up. She was MAD! Hee hee. But she didn't destroy anything. Then I groomed her and off we went. 

Dan was motoring and on a mission. And the two of them kept messing with each other. They crack me up. Two peas in a pod. We mostly walked but did a tiny bit of trotting. He was a little inverted but when I tried to ask, he did try so... we did a little bit. As much as I could while dealing with Heathen #2 also. I rode in the jump saddle and he didn't feel "neuro" at all on the trails. So.. yay for that. 

We headed to the lake and Funny was insistent on bathing so Dan hung out and splashed a bit while she got soaked to the bone. Then he rubbed his head on her wet rump while she was splashing. They are silly!

We then headed up the hills and then ended up at XC. Dan had to show her how to do the ditch again and then walked next to a few longs while she trotted over them. 

Then we headed back to the trailer. Unfortunately while I was putting my saddle away she walked under his rope and they both panicked and pulled back. Poor Dan. That's the second time in 3 days that he's pulled back hard enough to almost fall. That's NOT helping your neck friend. 

But it was a fun day and they made me smile. I do love them both so!