Well... I'm doing it. I'm doing the neck surgery. Foraminotomy. In two weeks! And.... I mostly feel at peace with it. Sure, the devil tries to sneak in and worry me. And there's legitimate worries. BUT... I've been praying very hard on it. And I flat out prayed that God would tell me what to do. Like... bluntly, loudly, and clearly. And... He has. He's been so kind. He opened my eyes to the path He's put me on and how it led me to here. And He's opening doors. And more doors. And then putting out scripture that applies. So, I'm trusting in Him.
I sort of feel like this whole long journey has led us on this path to here. And now that we're here... in this very spot... God is opening doors for the next step. One slow, tedious, step at a time... over the course of years. But now I can look back and see the path that He has put before me and how it's all played out so well. And even now, especially now, He's still lighting my way. The talk with Jacel about sometimes having to do hard things for our "children". Mike getting a promotion and offering to loan me the money interest free. The surgery center being 20 miles from my acupuncture class. The hock injections helping but not resolving the issues. Then Mike offering to pay for surgery without me having to pay him back. Then surgery days are usually Tues and Friday but... they will do it on Thursday so that I can not have to drive to Ocala twice and don't have to be in class while Dan's in surgery. Then, if we do a 2nd site, me having that day off from work already anyways. Me getting my Gerd clinic spot filled and my money refunded. Having to reschedule both farriers for the ponies because it was set for Dan's surgery day and then both being accomodating. It's.... like Lyric... kind of falling in my lap. So thank you... thank you God! Oh, and I can't forget my great talk with Liz about how... there's a difference between God opening doors and the devil tempting us. And then this verse of the day popping up. James 1:13. "Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God: for God cannot be tempting with evil, neither tempteth he any man". And then even today... my ride with Dan was good. Like, pretty darn good. And I started to listen to the devil... maybe I'm wrong... maybe it's not his neck. Maybe he doesn't need it. He feels pretty good. Maybe, if you wait... you can get him to the T3D this Fall. You can't ride Lyric anyways... But then, no.. that's temptation! That's not for the glory of God, that's myself. And then... I cantered. And Dan got worried and fussy. And he swapped behind a time or two in the canter. And I felt like that was God being like "See....don't listen to the world... listen to Me and your horse.....". He just... confirmed that Dan's NOT happy. He's trying. He's such a good boy. He's doing his best. But he's not happy. So, again, thank you God. Thank you for that.
Thank you God for blessing me with such a wonderful soul. One who tries his heart out for me, despite being painful. One who cracks me up on a daily basis and has stolen my heart. One who has carried me and taught me so much. Thank you God for being forgiving and kind when I'm upset with you because I don't understand. And thank you for this (albeit difficult many times) journey that has taught me sooooo much about horsemanship, biomechanics, medicine, and has, in many ways, shaped my career too. And I know it has helped my other horses and future horse. Thank you God for my husband, who is so supportive and understanding. Thank you God for finding us this farm, that will make the rehab easier on everyone. Thank you God for great friends who are willing to listen and remind me of your word. Thank you God for my team of professionals to help me figure Dan out. And just... thank you for all the time I've had with Dan. Thank you for reminding me what's important.
So today... today we rode and we had a great day. And I'm grateful for that. For another ride with my friend.
We met Kelli early because we both had a lot to do and Patrick was coming in the afternoon to put Lyrics shoe back on. We did our pillar walk and then walk warm up. Then we trotted and cantered on the buckle. I did notice that if I made sure I stayed upright with my shoulders, and even thought about staying a hair in the back seat, his canter transition from the trot was better. Then we walked some more and took a breather. And then we went to work. I still focused very much on having him reach forward, down and out with his neck. We had contact, but it was light. And it wasn't our best ride, but it got pretty good at times and seemed to get better the longer we rode. We even got decent shoulder in at the trot without any fussiness. Then we cantered. And, he got a little worried. The left lead canter felt a bit more tenous. And on the straight line, he swapped behind a time or two. But then he corrected it and held it. And his canter felt pretty good. I challenged him a bit with straight lines and then circles, and then even two 15 meter circles. And bless him. He was trying so hard! And he even succeeded mostly. But he was upset. He was starting to chomp a bit and he got a bit runny. I thought about challenging him again to see... is it really hard for you? But... it is. And why!? Surgery is set. Why would I continue to ask you to work through the pain? So I quit. I'm sorry Buddy. Thank you for trying so hard for me.
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