It seems like it's been forever since we've ridden in nice weather. Or ridden. ;) We finally got to ride today after all of our hock injection time off and work. Freddie came first thing this morning and did all 3 ponies. Dan got the same shoes up front and we went back to just regular shoes behind. I guess we'll see how he does with that. Then the plumber came to fix the leak. And of course we had to let the glue dry... twice! So finally... finally, I was free! We loaded up and off we went!
I wanted to try the pivo at Ashland so we didn't do our warm up hack. We went straight to the arena. We did our walk work though to warm up and he was good. Our rein back is getting better. But dang if that stupid pivo didn't drive me bananas. It wasn't cooperating and kept getting stuck staring off into the woods. And somehow Dan moved when I was holding the tripod so we broke a leg off the tripod. Luckily we didn't break it break it until we got back to the trailer, so I was able to keep using it while we rode. So yeah.. it got some of us, but... not as helpful as I wanted. Oh well.
We had a decent ride. I probably shouldn't have done as much lateral work as I did, but we didn't drill the canter to walks, so... hopefully I didn't aggravate his hocks. We got some good attempts at the canter half pass though! Definitely not enough bend in his body at the half pass in either the trot or the canter, but... he is going sideways. It's more of a counter leg yield than a half pass, but... at least we're going sideways some. We also played with the canter down centerline and 10 meter circle right to walk to 10 meter circle left to walk to 10 meter circle canter right, etc. That was kind of fun. And went way better than I expected. We also got a decent half serpentine counter canter both ways. So overall, nothing too exciting, but not a bad days work.
Then we went for a hack. Ahhhhh... We mostly walked but did a tiny bit of trot and canter. We aimed for hills. We saw two of the herons fly off over the lake as we approached! I'm bummed my camera wasn't ready. We also came up on a herd of deer who just sat and watched us go by. And of course the geese and squirrels. And then Debbie and her greyhounds. ;) It was a lovely hack.
But..... sigh. Stupid hormones. I'm a hot mess right now. I know it's a hormone surge, but I'm about to cry over everything and am feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I'm proud of myself for not getting upset with Dan and riding him nicely and politely and praising him for his try. And I was actually proud of him, not just pretending to be proud. But then I watched the video and... pick apart every little thing. He's not through... he's not connected.... I'm not getting enough sit and reach. I'm not getting that 3rd level, or heck, even that 2nd level outline I want. My posture sucks. My hands suck, my arms are doing random things that are totally wrong. And I'm just bummed. I know I shouldn't compare, but it's hard... when I feel like I work so flipping hard at everything... and still fail. It was so bad that when I got out of the shower, I had a legit panic attack. I had to breathe and focus on all the things I was grateful for and basically force myself out of it. So, I'm just praying that God helps me. That He shows me the way to let go of the things I'm holding on to.... my desire to be in charge... to fix it all... to not accept any help... to do it myself.... to be responsible/take responsibility.... to not burden anyone else.... to also fix their problems... to be a good wife/friend/sister/daughter/neighbor/vet/rider/chiropractor/human being.... And while I'm calm and chill on the outside..... my insides are whirling out of control like a roller coaster gone rogue. And I couldn't even get completely at peace while out hacking today. And that's not fair to my horse. It's not his fault I'm a complete disaster and he shouldn't feel like he failed because I feel like I failed.
Sigh.... freakin' pre-menopause... or menopause... I'm old now, so... who knows.
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