Sadness.... still sadness

 And crankies... on my end. I'm actually more cranky than Dan today, although... he's a little cranky too. Sigh... I'm trying hard to remain grateful and enjoy the moments and praise God because I know, I KNOW, that He is good. And I do have so much to be grateful for. Yet.... I also am frustrated. Dan looked much happier today and back to his normal self. And it's my day off! I had a dentist visit in the morning, that got moved from 9 to 10 am. No biggie.. that still gives me plenty of time to ride. And Jacel rescheduled our lessons from Tuesday to today, so yay! But then I added a patient because he couldn't bend and they were showing soon and... I had to go out that way to get feed anyways because they charged me for 8 bags (which I wanted) but only had 5, so.. no biggie.. still time to get to my lesson on time. And maybe even hack a bit before hand and them maybe ride Lyric after at home. And then the dentist went long... I spent a little bit of time talking after adjusting the horse... the feed store seemed to take forever....and then the weather. I am so grateful that it's not been hot and humid and steamy yet. And I'm so grateful that we're getting rain and even spaced out rain. I haven't had to water my garden and the pastures are about ready for bush hogging! But... why does it keep having to be on my days off?!?! Or maybe it's not. Maybe it's just today.. and because I haven't been able to ride Dan in almost a week (a week tomorrow), it seems like it's always raining on my ride days. So anyways... at least the forecast changed to rain later in the day, so.. maybe, maybe, maybe I'd get my lesson. NOPE! The radar then changed to storms, including possible hail, starting at 3pm and going through til 9 pm. And my lesson was at 3:30. So... we got cancelled. But okay, fine... I'll just ride anyways and try to get on earlier. But by the time I got home and changed and ate a tiny bit (so I didn't get a migraine) it was 2 pm. And it had been spitting and misting on and off all day. It's fine.. it's fine... I have the fake leather saddle I can ride in. It's not freezing...my arena is fine and then if it starts storming, I'm already home. And the radar was showing no real rain til 3:30 ish still. We've got this!

So I grab Dan and we get tacked up and it starts raining. Sigh... okay, maybe it'll just be a short shower and then go away. So we hacked up to the arena and he felt okay at the walk. Maybe I could still feel something. But maybe not. So we do our walk warm up... and he's reaching but curling at the same time. We manage to get a little bit of a good reach forward. But I'm wondering why he's being different and not really reaching. So I decided to trot and see. That way if he's lame... there's no sense in us staying out in the rain as now it was coming down fairly steadily. And if he's not, then we can go back to walking and get him going nicely before we trot again. But... alas, he's still lame. He's not so sore he barely wants to move anymore, but... pretty lame. Like.. legit lame. I can't tell but it feels like a back leg and he's super crooked and traveling very haunches in. Sigh... well, screw it then. No sense staying out in the rain for walk work. I mean... I suppose maybe we could do some pillar work but it's raining and he's trying but he's obviously hurting and... now I'm extra sad and cranky. 

So we headed in. I turned him back out and he didn't immediately run up to join the others. When he finally did, he only walked and you can see the short step. I think it's left hind, but.. then he's been resting the right hind today, so... who knows? I suck at lameness. But he's definitely lame. Sigh.. it's frustrating. I just want him to feel better and stay feeling better. And I think he does too. I think he's gotten depressed about it. Kind of like me... the migraines were a fact of life. But then they went away and my whole world changed. So now, when they come back, it's extra depressing. I think he feels the same way. Sigh.. I'm so sorry buddy. I'm doing my very best sir!!!

I couldn't even bemer him because Mike had to come grab my car and took the bemer with it. Oh well. I'll bemer him tomorrow. And maybe by Saturday he'll be sound. If not.. I'm gonna cry. Because also... tomorrow I have a half day, so could ride. But it is supposed to rain. And then Sat and Sun Mike is out of town so I can play with ponies all weekend without any guilt. And we've got a lesson Sunday. But of course... it's supposed to rain Sunday and maybe Saturday. Sigh.. And I'm sure I'm also stressing about being ready for the Gerd clinic. Oh well. 

(I forgot to turn it off! ha ha... much of that time was me sitting on the couch pouting). 

I'm glad that Danny was willing to try and feeling better than yesterday at least. I'm grateful I have him still and riding him is even an option. I'm grateful that I have my arena so on days like today, I can hop on when the weather breaks and sneak in a ride and not risk getting stuck in severe weather.