It's a little embarassing how much happier I am when I have a plan and some answers. Sigh. And I have to give thanks to God for showing me grace and mercy and humoring me. I was stressing hard core about life. Frustrated that Dan's not sound... and not only that, but all the things I had planned were now put on hold. And not just put on hold but getting cancelled. I had to cancel my Gerd lesson... now I may have to cancel the Lucinda clinic. I haven't been able to do lessons. Shakerags open hunt is not a wise choice. And then not having my plans that I could plan even plan out... like no reply from the beach people.. no reply from the vet... ARGH!! But I had kept seeing posts on faith... and hope... Don't lose Hope.. Keep the Faith. Praise him in the storm. I know... I'm trying God, I'm really trying. And honestly.. I think I got there. Yesterday... I was okay with it. I'm still stressing and I'm still unhappy but... it's in God's hands and even if His will is not my current will.. I know He knows best and it will all be okay. And really... how silly is it to be this upset about a horse anyways... when I have friends with terminal cancer, friends who can't ever ride again, friends who's mom is paralyzed with no answers why yet... etc, etc. And how silly to be this upset when I still have Dan.. I can still ride him... we can find other fun things to do. Heck, I was envisioning him in western tack with a long mane with braids. And I was able to really, honestly, praise God and worship Him. Because He deserves it. I don't deserve any of this and look at all He has still given me. So.. it was going to be okay. Maybe the reason no one has messaged me back is because I'm not supposed to see the vet before Feb 16th. Maybe the answer is "not yet". I don't know. But I know that I'm loved and it will be okay.
(Dan's googley eye is judging me! hee hee. He cracks me up!)
And then this morning... I panicked again. I had typed up a text to Laura basically contemplating cancelling the Lucinda clinic but didn't hit send because Mike and I went out to lunch and I didn't want to interupt it. And then, as we sat down to eat, the vet texted me and said she could see us thursday. Oh yay!! Perfect timing... because then I could tweak his shoes on Friday if needed... he has time to recover and feel better before the beach... and then, maybe, just maybe, we can do the clinic. And again, its' embarassing how much that bolstered my mood. And I know... that doesn't mean that Dan will be good to go in a few days.. it doesn't mean that anything changes. I still could very well be cancelling the clinic... taking up competitive trail or... worse. But at least, I had more Hope again. And that's such a wonderful thing. And I apologized to God for not trusting Him more.
So... after Mike and I had lunch we headed home and I spread the manure. And then I rode Funny, who was wonderful. And then, it was such a pretty day and sunshiney and warm, I opted to take Dan for a trail ride at Ashland. Laura had texted me so we met up for a ride. Dan likes Smarty. He had to go say hi and they were polite sniffing noses. And he let Smarty lead for most of the trail ride. Although a few times he used it as an excuse to bounce around and trot. Goober. We did a nice long walk and then I walked Laura back to the barn. Dan snacked while we talked a bit. And then she watched me trot him in the covered arena and said she thought he looked pretty good. Maybe a hair short right hind if she used her imagination. But honestly he felt pretty good to me. Although they do have lovely footing in there. So then we headed back and I decided to go up to the jump arena and trot him around a bit and see how he felt up there. And.. he still felt pretty sound. They had dropped almost all of the jumps to poels on the ground so Dan and I trotted over those. Then we cantered and cantered the grid a few times. Again, just poles on the ground. At one point he completely lost his hind end. I don't know if he hit a bad spot in the arena, or if it was due to whatever is bothering him, but... it was bad enough that we basically stopped. But then he trotted off just fine again. He did seem to fall out of the canter a few times on the left lead though, but he held it longer than before. So yeah.. I don't know. I guess I'll find out Thursday!
I untacked him and he had butt foam! I don't know if it's because he was working hard or.. because he's gotten chunky. Ha! Poor dude.
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