Frustrations and tears

 ugh.. awful ride. had lesson with judy at lindas. 

warmed up briefly. rode in the new pad liner and pretty pad. Not sure I like it. Not contoured and too big. sigh... but not sure he cared. maybe that's why he was naughty though?? 

practice and did okay in the beginning but he hates the stop and go. had some issues at the gate but it got nice after a time or two. did the livestock pen decently. double slalom was okay but he started to get fussy and was either rushing on the forehand or rocking back and then walking. And then not listening... like I'd ask him to go and he wouldn't.. or I'd ask him to turn or to half halt or halt and he would just ignore me. He started hopping up in the air and wanting to canter... or slamming on the breaks. sigh... I got mad. i tried not to. 

did the switch cup backing up thing.. and it was awful. Linda said i was in his face so to be softer and not keep yanking on him. So I tried... just tried "Schusshing" and kicking my legs forward. didn't really work. THen we did one step back and release... then one step and release.. then one step and release. which kind of worked but then he still got fishtaily.  then she had me lift my hands.. because he's diving on his forehand and dragging me down and he can't back on the forehand. So lifting my hands UP (NOT BACK) did help.  but then he was also being naughty and I got mad and then he wouldn't go forward... ugh... i lost my temper and was kicking him and then he just got mad. But we finally did manage to do it decently twice. 

then tried the bull line and then the jump. he was sassy over the jump. then tried the bull line and jump with the garocha pole in hand... still naughy. then did the single slalom and he just ran at them... and it was awful. finally had to sit trot and slow him way the freak down. got better but ...

the whole ride was just frustrating. it's the same thing the last few rides. I can't seem to find the happy place. He's hanging on me or I'm hanging on him. He's ducking to avoid contact but then he's running away on the forehand and way too big in his stride if I don't. and then i'm not riding with my body, i'm resorting to my hands, but then he feels like he's ignoring my legs unless i get him with my spur. So i cried... and it's just.. embarassing. Linda thought I was a decent enough rider to ask me to ride her horse and then I have a meltdown and lose my temper and blame my horse.... 

ugh...

shockwaved his stifles and SI joints when we got home. and he was still being a butt... hosed him off and kicked him out. 

will apologize tomorrow. also, off BC again because of my stupid boobs... so that's not helping.

photos: 8-26 oooof . videos from judy

Group Practice (Add WE videos)

 I ended up taking Dan to Oxford Manor this morning to practice some obstacles with Kirsten and Judy. It was fun. The weather was odd though and threatening to storm on us. But luckily it didn't. But good gravy it was positively STEAMY! Like so hot and humid and still. It was brutal. Luckily when the storm clouds got closer there was a tiny breeze. But it was rough. 

We warmed up and Dan felt pretty good. He saw Indy though and was adamant that they come say hi. Sadly she was going for a hack. I was hoping that the timing would work so she'd be riding as we were done and we could go hack, but alas. Dan and Indy played bitey face and just hung out while Missy and I talked briefly. And then Dan was so distracted when he left.. he basically watched him until he was out of eyesight. Awww. I know buddy.. he's your bestie. But Missy and I did talk about a beach trip this Winter, so.. fingers crossed!

After we warmed up we started doing some of the obstacles. I was doing the double slalom's but only weaving through the one side of lines to make it a single slalom. And then I did two more curves around invisible poles to finish, which put us really close to a red vertical. Which, was probably 2'9", maybe?? And as I went to bring the bend back around, Dan thought I was turning him to the jump! We were at the edge of it and almost on top of it, but he picked up his shoulders and took a half step of canter like he was gonna leap and I pulled him off! No dude! We are not jumping 2'9" in a western saddle from a trot when you have a bum stifle!! And then when we circled past it shortly after, he was making a bid for it again. Okay, okay, okay... but let's just go jump the cross rail instead. So we did. And he launched over it and popped me out of the saddle and I almost fell off. Ha! Why is it soooo hard to jump in a western saddle!?!? 

Anyways... we got down to business after that and played with the obstacles. We took turns and gave each other some advice. It was helpful and fun. Dan was kind of naughty and I got mad at him and spurred him and made him almost rear. (pop up). I felt bad, but dude... just... listen to my aids and do it. You've been doing it... why are you suddently ignorning me!!? But then he was good again. We did the livestock pen and I need more march. Which is hard, because Dan is long. But I tried and we got a little better. Then we did the bull line, which was good, but he gets quick at the end. And I've got to be careful with my depositing of the pole in the barrel, so it doesn't bounce out. We did the double slalom, which... was awful at first. That's the one he was so naughty at, but then he settled. We did the figure 8, which was hard. But the drums was better. Weird, but Kirsten said the drums are a bit farther apart. But, I can still make my figure 8 circles wider if I wanted. So I don't know. Then we did the switch cup and Kirsten had the upright poles. And she said that they were set to standard but maybe a hair narrow because they were 4' center to center instead of end to end. So Dan and I did fine the first time we did it and walked in. And he backed up decently. But then when we went back to it later and tried trotting in, it got hard. The trotting in was okay. We got a decent halt, although maybe a half step too far past. But then when we went to back, it got all crooked and he was taking out the poles and then we couldn't figure out how to recover. Doh! Eventually Kirsten widened the poles for us. I do think that if I just keep my head straight forward, instead of pivoting around to look behind us, it helps him stay straight. And if I don't use my legs, it helps. When I use my legs, I think he thinks I"m asking him to bend, and then he gets crooked. If I just "shush" and use my rein aids, he backs up pretty darn straight. We got it twice so we quit with that. 

We played with the gate but it's the metal arena gate and honestly.. it's just too short for me to do anything with. So I'll have to keep practicing the gate with my gate at home. She also had the pitcher so we played with that. I'm getting better at trotting in and trotting out. At the end, I decided I wanted to do the bull line, livestock pen, and pitcher once. I think he gets frustrated doing one at a time, so I wanted to put a few together. And he was pretty darn good! So we quit with that. Both Judy and Kirsten had gotten off, which made me sad. I was thinking we could do a cool down hack. Oh well. I could still go by myself. So we did. But instead of going back to Ashland, we just did the little loop around the back pasture at Oxford Manor. It was nice. And a nice gradual hill. And as hot as it was.. we didn't need to do more. Especially because I was getting headachy and hungry. Some electrolyte water did help though. And sadly, despite the fact that I had remembered to grab Dan's ice packs for his stifle boots, I forgot the stifle boots themselves. So.. no icing. I'm sorry sir. 

I definitely need to practice at home. I keep "winging it" and just doing the patterns without the actual obstacles. Which, is probably helpful to some degree, but.. when you have the actual obstacles and have them measured.. it's a lot harder!! So I definitely need to set things up. And I need to make sure that my switch cup poles are jump standards so that I can practice the backing up with the poles because that makes it harder! 

He got the afternoon off and then when the storm hit, he was running amuck. And then had a nice big roll as the thunder was rolling! But then he came in for dinner and brought the girls with him, like a good boy. I should have shockwaved him tonight but I figured I'd do it tomorrow since I wanted to ride Lyric tomorrow and I need to do her too. Oh, but I did fix his bosal hanger. Except now I want to swap out the rivets to green ones and maybe paint his bosal itself some green stripes. 

Playing at home

 the anatomical headstall is a no go. smooshes against his eyes. So, back to the drawing board. went back in the fleece lined cinch which is better for girthing at least. 

felt decent today. had a good ride. did the drums and he was amazing so didn't drill them! did the gate and reverse gate. played with bend and circles and turn on the forehand and haunches and halts. lift into the halts. so they aren't as abrupt. did canter both ways. Left lead felt way better today than the right, interestingly. leg yielded.

good pony. 

iced after. Meh... they don't seem to want to stay up high enough and didn't make his leg very cold.. but i only left them on for 10 minutes... Will try again. 

tomorrow.. practicing obstacles with Kirsten and judy at oxford manor.

photos: 8-26 handsome, ride at home, soggy pants

Shod and back to Ashland

 change of plans... again. ;) ha

farrier in am, but his grinder broke, so did funny and then he had to come back later. So instead of riding funny at home and then meeting sharon with baylor and dan, i had to ride funny at ashland first with sharon. then patrick came back and finished lyric and got Dan done. So crazy how much better his posture is just with back shoes. added wedges up front and 3d pads behind this go round. dan was bored and tired of napping so he tried to help

then went to ashland solo. had a nice hack int he woods. his first ride back after steroid injections. put sharons pad on to test ride and rode in bosal with headstall. and blue mohair girth. all the changes.felt a bit wobbly/weak behind in the walk but trot was strong and nice. Tripped a good bit at the walk. Need to do some more sweeney shoulder rehab i guess. but trot felt great and swingy. trotted in the fields some. fluffing hay. then went to xc field and trotted some logs and practiced walking through water with no shenanigans twice. good boy. then cantered to see how the pad worked... not too shabby. tried to "run away" with me on the left lead... fun, or pain? splashed in lake briefly then went back. ran into judy and teller and chatted a bit. dan was silly. kept making faces at teller, who was not fazed one bit.. which pissed dan off. ha ha.. funny

good boy

photos: 7-26 finally, 7-26 pedicure

videos: pedicure and trotting at ashland

Vet Visit

 Well... pretty much what I thought. Sigh...

I finished work early enough that I probably could have ridden had I hustled, but in my brain I think I thought I had more time. I really needed to go to the chiropractor, so I decided to stop and get lunch and then go back to the Joint. It's just easier and quicker. So I did, but of course I had to fill out paperwork again. I was still out of there in 20 minutes though, so still way faster. And I think Dr. Ryan is back, which is great as he was one of the better ones. And my neck is happier too, so.. it was probably worth it. But that meant I only had exactly an hour from when I got home to when I would have to leave. Which... meant I could do a 30 minute tack up, trail ride, untack and rinse ride at Ashland, or... ride at home, or.... not ride. And when I got home there was a bunch of packages on the porch... all from MWI. Which... I didn't order that much stuff. So I had to investigate and they sent me two extra boxes.. one meant for California and one for Nebraska. Okay... so I had to call them and now I have to print a label and ship it back. Ugh.. So by then I just gave up the thought of riding. Which, sucks but at least I got to ride yesterday. I was really wanting a nice hack in the woods though. Especially since it was cooler today. But it was wet and on and off rain and I'm sure the bugs would still be bad, so... oh well. 

I was going to give him a bath before we went but he wasn't that sweaty at all since it was so overcast. So... we did the cavalettis a few times and then headed to the clinic. I got there for our 3:30 appt but Dr. Barrow wasn't there yet. Doh. No big deal... we hung out and walked around and explored. And I did some pillar 3 work. And then the techs saw me and said that Dr. Barrow was at least 20 minutes out. Sigh... So I adjusted him. Withouth my stool, mallets or stick, but... I did the important parts. Then we explored some more. Dang.. I could have ridden! Heck, I almost was tempted to ask if I could hop on and ride in their arena for a bit. Ha ha. But I didn't want him to get all sweaty, though.. it was slightly tempting to be on him when Dr. B showed up so she could see him go, but... at that point, I just let it go. 

Then Jean showed up with Rob. They had made a rolling cart for the big fans and brought one to Dr. Barrow. Of course when Dr. Barrow got there, shortly after, Jean had to talk to her. Dr. Barrow was great though and managed to excuse herself fairly quickly to work on Dan. Hee hee. I get it!! But also, it's Friday afternoon and I'm sure Dr. Barrow wants to finish up with Dan and go home too! So... we talked and she watched him go. She palpated him and thought his stifle wasn't as effusive as I did. Yay! She did say that she could feel the arthritic changes and the effusion was in the medial femoropatellar pouch area. She flexed him and he only allowed about half the time and was positive on flexion. So we went and looked and she did do steroids and noltrex in the femoral-tibial space but only noltrex in the Femoral-patelllar space, so... we decided to try steroids in there and see what happened. She said that if it helped, we could do arthramid in there next. We also talked about how... I wouldn't be a terrible person if the steroids helped him if I just kept putting steroids in there. It wasn't like we could make that joint that much worse!!! Ugh... 

So... we'll see what happens. I do honestly think his topline looks a little better since we put back shoes on. And the osphos should start kicking in soon. And maybe the steroids will get rid of the inflammation enough that he will be more comfortable moving that limb. She also mentioned that his patella itself looks super and she thought there might be some scar tissue, so she said that my idea of "stretching" him out by flexing and extending that joint before I ride is a good idea. She also suggested DMSO and furacin on the joint before I ride... to "heat" it up. I wonder if the bemer would work the same. I'll have to try something. Maybe even just the red light? Or some other warmed glycerin and dmso or something?? She said it was a "track trick". 

So... I'll just have to let him tell me what he can and can't do and which days and go with that. But it makes it kind of hard to decide on whether I should enter regionals or not. 

Dan to the rescue

 I was a cranky pants today. Well, maybe not cranky, but not a happy camper. Last night when I fed I realized Lyric was missing a shoe. Luckily I found it. Then this morning when I fed, Funny came hopping in on three legs!! No!!!! Luckily (I guess, considering...) she had twisted her shoe half off and stepped on the clip. And I think a nail too. Because when I pulled if off she flinched and stepped down and then flinched again. So either I created the nail hole in her sole by twisting the shoe more, or it was already stuck in there and I just aggravated it. It may have been the first one because she was bleeding when I got the shoe off. Sigh... Hopefully she won't abscess. So then I was a little late to work, but... I only had 5 horses so I was done by 12:30.  Which... is great!!! Except it's a gabillion degrees out and a gabillion and one percent humidity, so I was hot and sweaty and cranky. And then I got a migraine and was exhausted. I stopped for lunch on the way home and got a Dr. Pepper but that didn't help. So once I got home I took a pill and laid down and tried to nap. I was down til almost 3 pm, so I guess I did sleep some. But then I was cranky because my migraine was gone but I still felt not great. And pissed off that I had this lovely free half day of work and didn't get anything accomplished. And it was too hot to ride and two of my horses were missing shoes. Ugh. So I ended up getting my oil changed and going to the grocery store and made it back in time to meet Russel, who luckily was able to come put shoes back on. Unfortunately we decided to leave Funny's off until Patrick comes next week because of the hole. He was afraid it would just pack stuff in it. Sigh... So then I was annoyed that now I won't be able to ride her for a week. And it's fine.. it's hot... it's just.. they just had a week off from the beach... and then next weekend I may not want to ride because of my biopsy... And I'm just mad. Mad at circumstances currently. But also aware that I'm being silly. So... Mike convinced me to go ride. But the radar showed rain. Sigh... Finally though I decided that enough was enough and even though it was hot and humid and I was cranky, I probably needed to ride. I decided to ride Dan because even though I wanted to ride Lyric more (mostly cause I'm worried about Dan), I figured it maybe wasn't fair to ride her right after her shoe got put back on and while I might get to ride Dan tomorrow before his vet appointment, I'm guessing I won't get to ride him all weekend because I'm assuming he'll get his stifle injected again. Which means... Lyric is going to be my only ride all weekend, so might as well ride Dan while I can. 

 

So I did. And I'm glad. Because he was good and I feel sooooo much better now. Ahhhh. Smart husband. :) 

 

I put Jenny's bosal on him with the side ear headstall. Suprisingly it fits! Not even on the last hole. No wonder it doesn't fit any of her horses. I'm not entirely sure I like the headstall. It's awfully close to his eyeballs and definitely needs to be darkened, but it fit decently and he seemed happy in it. I definitely need to make my reins longer though. Although I do like them. I don't think they are horse hair but they might be alpaca or mohair. And while I wish the bosal itself was darker, at least it's neutral enough. And it fits him well. And he worked well in it. So.. very kind of her because it's definitely a good quality one!

 

We had a good ride. We walked up to the arena and did a long walk warm up. Then we did the gate and the reverse gate. He's quite good at the reverse gate. Actually, he's being quite good at the gate both directions. I think he "gets it" now. I'm still telling him to "shut it... close it.. get it" at the arena gate but also telling him "leave it" at the obstacle gates, so I think he's smart enough to figure it out. We did some trotting and cantering. He felt sounder again. And he felt pretty round today. He's also good at neck reining because those reins were barely long enough to do anything but. His canter was pretty decent today though he fell out if the left lead once. But it felt good. We also practiced some circles and then some centerlines and staying straight! Because straight is hard. But he definitely isn't as runny today down centerline so that's good. Overall, a decent ride. He was a little braced at times and didn't soften quite as much as I wanted but he also, at the same time, seemed softer in his neck, if that's possible. Like... he wasn't as round but he didn't seem as braced while not being as round. So... I don't know. 

 

I'm just grateful he was willing and we had fun. Because I definitely feel better now! And... no rain. :) Except now it's supposed to rain tomorrow, so we'll see if we can sneak in a ride before his vet visit. If we do, it'll just be a nice fun trail ride. I originally wasn't going to have time. I was going to be pushing it to get to my vet appointment on time after working on Marvin for Kelli, but she cancelled on me today. Which, is fine, and probably better. I just wish she had cancelled on me yesterday instead of today, because... I could have potentially moved Liz to today too. But oh well. It worked out fine in the long run. I was able to meet Russel and get my oil changed and nap off the migraine. And Liz may have had plans for today too anyways, so... all good. And maybe now I can get home and give Dan a bath and then take him for a hack at Ashland before our vet visit. And eat lunch too. :) 

Numero Uno

 Ooof... emotional ride today. 

did my lesson with liz and it was cool enough and we finished early enough that we did dan too. He was up at the arena with lyric when I took funny down so I called him a few times. Liz went to do some energy work with him and he basically told her to eff off... and came at her aggressively (with energy i'm assuming) so she sent him away. He (and Lyric) came galloping/trotting down to me. But I wasn't done hosing funny off yet, so he went back to Liz. She said he "challenged her again"... and she sent him away again. So he came trotting back again and I was done so I caught him (easily) and tacked him up. But he was in a mood and calling for the girls and a little anxious. They are in heat. Again.

walked up to the arena and chatted. did a short walk and then a loose stretchy trot to let him cough and loosen up. then picked him up and did some walk work. Tracking right... ride haunches out. Tracking left, ride shoulder fore. It helps him "cheat" his bum stifle and stay more balanced and share the load with the left hind. 

then decided to canter because... we both know that stifle isn't going to get "stronger". So liz suggested I work him hard and ride but then the week before the show.. take it super easy and maybe don't even canter. And we started with the canter today because we wanted to do it before he fatigued.

started with the hard lead.. left lead. He was okay. Did a 10 meter walk to canter and he picked it right up and had actually a really kind of lovely canter. She wanted me to sit up tall and help support him and it was quite nice. We tried to avoid lots of circles so did the long side. At the end, I was trying to "shorten/collect" him more and he did.. but then felt a little bit hoppy... i couldn't tell if it was a a "omg... I'm about to lose it and swap behind" or "oooh, this is a lovely balanced sitting canter that is just really fancy". And probably.. both! ha! Liz saw it and told me to trot now! Get out before he falls out. And then I lost my balance and fell forward and his trot sucked and we fell into a walk very quickly. 

then went right and did another few canters because he got anticipatory and silly. Then went to go left again and I tried to get him to circle and he basically said no and ignored my aid. Like... I was literally hanging on the left rein and pulling with all my might and he woudl NOT turn left. I got mad. I got frustrated. Liz told me that she felt like he was just being an ass and challenging me. Just like Funny does. And i usually laugh him off. But today I was getting pissed. Like.. .just effing turn!! So we tried again and same thing. I got mad. She told me that I was pulling and then he finally turned and I kept pulling and didn't release. She's right. cause I was mad. Then I started crying and told her that I was mad, but... more mad that he's broken and I can't fix him. I'm mad that we can't find a job for him that doens't hurt his stifle. I'm mad that his stifle is broken and I can't fix it. I'm mad that he's so talented and loves to work and I can't find a job that he can comfortably do. I'm mad that even standing in the pasture all day he hurts and is resting his right hind. I'm mad that he's feeling bad enough that he's rarely shenaniganing in the field. So I had a little cry. And she did too. We talked about how he's my "first born child" and it's a different relationship. And how it's okay for me to be proud of him and all he can and is doing but also sad that he isn't doing more. But that he feels that. He's emotional and has emotional baggage that he has to work through. She said that he is jealous a bit and needs to feel like my "number one". Sigh... 

So then I walked around and asked him to bend left, using my leg and body more. And he was good. So we tried one more canter and he turned... when I used my body and my leg too. I rewarded him and then we called it quits. Liz said that because he was a jerk, he worked harder and more than she meant to. But... then there's me... "but we barely did anything"!. So we did the gate and he was pretty good. Then I hacked him down to the barn. I trotted a little but my spurs fell off (on my horn because I goosed him in the canter so liz took them off) so I got off. I wanted to do more... so after liz left I got back on and we hacked back up to the arena. we trotted a bit and just worked on a nice soft round trot and my small post. (another thing liz mentioned during the little bit of trot we did.. keep my post small to keep him balanced). I did some halts, some downward transitions, and then a tiny bit of leg yield. We trotted the ground poles. And then we did the reverse gate. And he NAILED it. Like... it was amazing! Then we did the regular gate and it was okay. I hope we get a reverse gate at the august show. Then we hacked home. 

I'm sorry buddy. I just.... sigh. You're my numero uno. A wierdo but.. numero uno. 

photos: 7-26 numero uno, and silly and silly goober