Gnomes and Healing

 Today was a very weird day... 

Liz came for my lesson with Funny and we had the most fabulous ride ever!!! Whoo hooo. And then we pulled Dan out at the barn and LIz worked on him. She said that he felt very locked in his left shoulder/neck base area and his left hip/sciatica. She said he was sore on his left front hoof. And as she worked through things... she said she felt like his stifle actually felt good... but he was guarding it. More like he was afraid of using it vs it actually hurting. She got some huge releases and had me help out too. We basically opened up his pelvis and got fascia moving in his left pelvis/hip area. And she got that spot in his neck and said it was more trapped energy than anything and she got a big release in his poll on the left. She then worked on his stifle inadvertently. She basically said his hamstrings were super tight and hot and that his left quardriceps were locked down. Which makes sense because he's constantly resting his right hind to avoid using that stifle. So she used her energy to break up those tight fascial chains and encouraged him to shift and step onto the right hind. She didn't want to just push him over onto it... because that just makes him brace and guard. But if we encouraged him to shift and stand on it on his own.. then he could start to trust it more. He was soooo good and trying sooo hard. And he did it! A few times. So I'm going to have to keep reminding him. It's the whole "rehab isn't finished until the brain has been rehabbed to know it doesn't hurt anymore" theory. The muscle memory. 

So then she suggested that I not ride him at all today. I said I was supposed to go trail riding with Kelli originally and she was like "maybe just a short trail ride". Sure... Marvin's rehabbing anyways. But then she said he might feel drunk or wobbly. But if he felt great.. to not be tempted to do more. Do NOT do more Holly. I joked and said I should probably just not ride him and she agreed. So before I turned him out, I bled his BL and LU ting points and we chased the energy down and out and she said his foot felt better. And he was certainly acting slightly drunk. Not drunk, but almost like he was testing out his hind end again. But he was definitely more square!

So then she said she wanted to check me and she leaned up against my stone wall and had me stand in front of her. It was fine at first.. she was working on my spine. She said I felt pretty straight and supple. And then she went to my neck. And oooh, I told her how my neck was so jacked up and had been hurting so bad and I had been to the chiropractor twice and it was better but still not right. And she just starting gliding some fascia... like, a tiny little massage. But holy cow.. she isn't kidding. She is HOT! Her energy is intense. I could almost feel like burning, but not in a painful way. And then... suddenly I told her I was feeling faint... and it came on quick.. I was like "Yep... I think I'm gonna faint" and then.. it was odd because when I almost fainted in my biopsy... I could fight it and stayed cognizant of fighting it longer. Maybe because I was sitting down already.. I don't know. But once I told Liz I was feeling faint... about 10 seconds later I was like.. yep, I'm feeling faint and I really think I'm going to faint but I didn't do anything else about it. Next thing I know I'm sitting on the ground and she's sitting behind me. I was like... Oh dear.... I did faint! Are you okay!!!??? She was fine. She said she just guided me down. I really hope so. She's the one with the brain injury and vertigo and here I am fainting. I laughed... "Did you put the sleeper hold on me"?? ha ha. She said that I had some bad energy she needed to get out. She said she can visualize them and hers often looks like an elephant but mine looked like a garden gnome. A mean little garden gnome! And one that didn't take kindly to being ejected so he made me faint. I have no idea.... but I've had plenty of body work and never fainted before. Even with Liz.. she's worked on my neck before. I don't know if it was the stress of the past two weeks.. dehydration... what. But... man.. it took me a hot minute to recover. I really thought I might need to vomit for about 5 minutes. Then I was just... exhausted. So we sat on the ground and talked for another 20 minutes or so before I finally felt good enough to get up. Jeepers... that was just weird! Dan is brave because he took it like a man. He didn't faint! 

And then it was starting to thunder and the clouds were looking a little menacing so I told Liz she should probably get on the road to beat the storm and I wanted some food anyways. I felt fine at that point. 

So yes... very odd. But the good news is that it sounds like Dan is feeling pretty good in general, especially now! And if I can get it out of my head that his stifle hurts and just ride my horse.. we should be fine. And I can keep reminding him and his energy that his stifle is fine and he can trust it. 

Weird day! 

Halfway There

So... I realized that I had spiraled into a worst case scenario instead of trusting God. So, hopefully God is just rolling his eyes at me and my "drama" while He's kindly healing Dan's foot. 

 

I texted Patrick on my way home with Funny asking him if he'd come out to put Lyrics shoe back on this weekend and if he could peek at Dan too. He said he would be by this afternoon. Thank you!!! So, he came out and we got Lyrics shoe back on. She was still very foot sore so he pulled one nail. And then she was still sore but better and she walked out of it pretty well. We figured that she's just tender and we'll see how she is in 24 hours. And by this evening, she was already better! Then we pulled Dan out and since I wasn't sure which foot it was... we took him to the driveway to jog him. Patrick watched and said he wasn't really sure. So then he jogged him for me. We both sort of thought maybe left hind. So, we went back in and hoof tested him and he was mildly positive at the toe. Patrick pulled his shoe and he had a bruise at his toe. And he was consistently reactive to the hoof testers there. And notably.. he seems to be standing on both hinds more square today.. which tells me his left hind does hurt because he normally is resting that right hind almost 24/7. And when Patrick picked up his left hind.. he wasn't fussy like he usually is. Which, either means his left hind hurts enough he's ignoring his right stifle and/or his right stifle is feeling better now that we're two weeks into the steroid injection. Hopefully! 

  

So we ended up filing down the toe of the shoe, taking out the packing material from the toe, and putting the shoe back on. This way he has the best chance of healing without causing new issues and hopefully being sound enough to ride and prep for the show. But he did warn me that it could pack dirt up under there. So I wrapped it after putting some green jelly in there to help dry it out and harden it up.

 

Then Mike and I hung out a bit and I organized the trailer and tried to figure out my show outfits. And then we went to dinner. And then I came home and decided it was kind of cool enough to ride. Well.. it was at least shady enough to ride. It was still pretty miserable and Dan was already crusty and gross. I figured we'd at least practice the obstacles at the walk... 

I tacked up and we hacked up to the arena and did some walking. We did the gate and the reverse gate and it wasn't bad. We did the livestock pen and we practiced our march! And so far he was feeling better at the walk already. So I picked up the trot. And... darn. Still a little lame. It's at least 50% better than it was yesterday though, so that's a start. I do wonder a tiny bit if it's his left front actually, but.. it's so hard to tell. He wasn't that bad so we rode. I kept it to a trot and did not canter. And we kept the trot short and simple. We practiced the switch cup and reverse and he was perfect! Like.. perfect all 4 times we did it. Okay... I just kept my head on straight and asked him to quietly back up with my hands lifted a little and he backed straight up. And I measured my lane.. and it was jump standards too, so it wasn't just stuff on the ground he coudn't see. So yay! We also did the single slalom pretty smoothly too. 

 

I did do the drums once but he was definitely lame for those. Those tight circles definitely made the lameness show up. Ooof, sorry dude! We won't do those again tonight for sure! We did the jug and got some nice trot to halts to trots. And we did the gate a few more times and... man, he's really getting the hang of the gate and the reverse gate!! Good pony! Then we did some centerline to halts.. a turn on the forehand each way before I remembered that was the western dressage test, not the working eq test. Ha ha. Whoops. So we did our 5 meter half turns. And then we did the gate another time or two and jumped the cross rail. And he was perfect! Or pretty darn close. 

 

We quit with that. I gave him bute tonight instead of previcox to see if that helps. If I need to, he can stay on bute throughout the show. I'm praying that it really is just that one bruise and he just needs a tiny bit more time to not be sore on it. And that by tomorrow he'll be sound on it and I won't have to be stressing about the show. I'm going to try very hard to not wonder if it's another foot... the stifle... and not spiral into "it's the end.. I'm going to have to retire him". Please help my unbelief God! 

 

  

Lightning and Lame

 Ugh.... 

I'm trying VERY VERY Hard to not spiral into a pity party...  It dawned on me that I've got a WEEK.. one week before our show. And that means I can ride today (planned to trail ride so I can apologize to Dan and we can be friends again), tomorrow and Sunday and then Tuesday. Tuesday I have my lesson with Liz. Then I work and we leave on Friday and we will practice on Friday and show Saturday. He's already gotten over a week off because of his injection and then missing a shoe. And then the last two or three rides we've had have been awful. And then my plans got all messed up for Lyric and Funny because of their missing shoes.. and the at least I did jump Lyric at Ashland by myself that day because she's now toe touching lame again and Patrick pulled her shoe and so I can't ride her. Which messed up my Chatt hills XC schooling plans with Funny and my lesson at Ashland before her show. But... it's fine.. it's fine... It'll all work out... it's not the end of the world... 

 

So today I was supposed to ride with Sharon and Kelli. Kelli told me she may not be able to depending on how long it took to move her kid. So fair... but it still ended up kind of throwing me off. I wanted to trail ride Dan... so riding with her would have been a good plan. But I could have also ridden him with Sharon. But Marvin loves Dan and does better with her than with Funny, so... I rode Funny with Sharon this morning and then was going to ride Dan with Marvin. And I guess, it did really work out.. in a sense. But... ughhhh. After my ride on Funny I got home and ate lunch and Kelli still had more moving to do, although she also prewarned me that she might not be able to make it. I decided I could stall a little bit and go drag the arena and set up my obstacles so that I could do that tomorrow and/or Sunday. So I did. And that took way longer than I wanted. I got most everythign up but decided to quit at that point and check in. It was close to 3ish and I wanted to make sure I didn't run out of time with Dan. She said she still wasn't done but also wasn't sure she'd have time, so I told her I was going to go and hopefully she could join me later into my ride. 

 

So I grabbed Dan and we headed out. I had a slight suspicion that he wasn't quite right. He just looked a tiny bit short on a foot, but I couldn't figure out which foot and he wasn't ever really consistent or walking long enough each time I saw it. So I didn't think too much about it. We walked our raised poles before we loaded up and headed to Ashland.

I tacked him up and tried him out in his new breastcollar and pad. It all fits and looks good. But it's not exactly the right match. Ugh... The turquoises match well enough but the pad is more blue and black and the BC is more blue and brown. Ugh... But it might work well enough. Anyways... I got on and we hit the trails. We got to the overturned boat by heron lake when Sharon messaged asking if I was at Ashland still (She had left her mounting block and I saw it when I was tacking up and messaged her that I grabbed it for her). Apparently it was storming at her house. Ugh... It was blue skies when I pulled in but it was definitely dark in the distance. Dark enough that I closed my truck windows (thank God I did!). She told me to ride quick! 

 

We headed out and by the time we got to the trail beside the "peninsula" of the swimming lake it had started to sprinkle. Big fat rain drops. No worries... it's cooling it down. I can clean my saddle. We headed to the lake and by the time we hit the beach it was coming down pretty steady. Ugh.. so we headed to Raccoon loop and did that path. He was fussy and short and not striding out. He almost felt like his hind end kept getting stuck. I couldn't tell for sure but assumed it was his right hind. It was almost like he didn't want to bring that leg forward. Or at least that is what I assumed/thought. And then he didn't want to go downhill, so we took the shallow section. It was really raining decently by now and I was getting soaked. My boots were starting to fill up and my hat was dripping water off the brim. Sigh... Okay, but... it's a pop up storm, maybe it'll pass quick. Then I heard the first thunder rumbler... then another... then a flash of lightning. Okay.. maybe we head in. And then when we got to the Never Ending Story stones there was a big flash of lightning and 2 seconds alter a boom. Okay... time to go. We trotted a tiny bit and.... NOOOOOO. Dan was lame. Like.. head bobbing legit lame. I coudn't quite tell if it was front end or hind end, so I'm guessing hind end. Although I can't tell if it's right or left honestly. And maybe it's right front... although when he was walking in the pasture I maybe would have guessed left front. Sigh... We had another good lightning flash and thunder boom. So I made him trot to the water complex, then calmly walk through, then trot off again a few steps. But he was definitely lame so I pulled up. I was sort of hoping that the storm would pass and we could carry on as I could see some blue skies ahead. But, then... he was legit lame and obviously not just a few steps of it. So... in we headed. Plus the rain wouldn't quit. We got to the side warm up area by the arenas and a suddenly there was a big sizzle and flash and then an immediate massive heavy boom! I honestly think lightning might have hit about 25 feet away from us! Bless Dan for being a saint. He and I both flinched/jumped but he didn't do anything. Okay... that was REALLY close and scary. Let's go bubs. I know you hurt but let's trot back to the trailer please. We trotted  a little bit but he was really lame so I gave up. We got back to the trailer and I pulled tack off and loaded him up and we headed home. 

Seriously though???? UGHHHHHH. I want to cry! I texted Patrick and am assuming that when he comes to put Lyrics shoe back on this weekend, he'll check Dan. But good gravy... we've only got a week before we leave for the show. I need to practice.... I need to practice the test AND obstacles. That's at least two rides. And I've only got tomorrow, Sunday and Tuesday. And Tuesday I've got a lesson with Liz. And I honeslty don't know if it's a hot nail... or his poor stifle. Or the other leg that's giving out because he's over-riding it from the bum stifle. And I'm currently mad about that because... I took him to the vet two weeks ago to check and make sure we weren't missing anything else... and I didn't stand up and make sure that we flexed other places, because... his stifle looks so bad we just assumed. But.. maybe it wasn't his stifle. Maybe it's the good stifle.. or the left hind tendon sheath again. We don't know, because we didn't check. And now, it's too late to do anything about it before the show. And... I know.. it's just a show... a measly beginner class/lowest level class show.. But I was really hoping to win that belt buckle. Sigh.. I dont know why it matters so much to me. It shouldn't... not to the detriment of my horse. And maybe.. it's not even that.. it's that I am realizing this is the end... and now he's not even sound for trail riding and.. that breaks my heart. And then.. I'm overwhelmed already this week because of the whole breast cancer thing and.. it's just... it's been a whole lot. I've kept up a good attitude about it and.. I should. But.. Dan's just.. my glue... and ... I feel like I'm losing him despite doing all the things I can... And now I feel like.. this is it.. the end... if I can't get him through this.. then he'll fall apart entirely when I have to take a month (or more) off and then he's done... done done. Sigh... But.. my God is good. And I don't know His plans. And He will make good out of the bad. So.. if it's His will that Dan is done.. I have to trust it. Maybe He knows that Dan just needs a few months off and then he will bounce back again. I don't know. And I need to remind myself to just trust Him. Stop stressing and making things up. Maybe,... and probably likely.. it's a hot nail and Patrick will pull it and best case scenario, he's sound enough to ride immediately after and nothing else is lost... worst case scenario... we either miss the show entirely and don't win a walk/trot belt buckle... or we have to go to the show cold and just do our best. I've already tried to remind myself the whole goal of this WE endeavor is to have fun with Dan again and I've somehow made it not fun this past two weeks. Sigh... I'm trying to listen God... I'm trying. Thank you for protecting us during the storm and the drive home. Thank you for giving me all the extra rides I wasn't ever promised to begin with. Thank you for letting Dan still be here, when he easily couldn't have been. 

But... dang I had a big pity party on my drive home. Sigh... 

Frustrations and tears

 ugh.. awful ride. had lesson with judy at lindas. 

warmed up briefly. rode in the new pad liner and pretty pad. Not sure I like it. Not contoured and too big. sigh... but not sure he cared. maybe that's why he was naughty though?? 

practice and did okay in the beginning but he hates the stop and go. had some issues at the gate but it got nice after a time or two. did the livestock pen decently. double slalom was okay but he started to get fussy and was either rushing on the forehand or rocking back and then walking. And then not listening... like I'd ask him to go and he wouldn't.. or I'd ask him to turn or to half halt or halt and he would just ignore me. He started hopping up in the air and wanting to canter... or slamming on the breaks. sigh... I got mad. i tried not to. 

did the switch cup backing up thing.. and it was awful. Linda said i was in his face so to be softer and not keep yanking on him. So I tried... just tried "Schusshing" and kicking my legs forward. didn't really work. THen we did one step back and release... then one step and release.. then one step and release. which kind of worked but then he still got fishtaily.  then she had me lift my hands.. because he's diving on his forehand and dragging me down and he can't back on the forehand. So lifting my hands UP (NOT BACK) did help.  but then he was also being naughty and I got mad and then he wouldn't go forward... ugh... i lost my temper and was kicking him and then he just got mad. But we finally did manage to do it decently twice. 

then tried the bull line and then the jump. he was sassy over the jump. then tried the bull line and jump with the garocha pole in hand... still naughy. then did the single slalom and he just ran at them... and it was awful. finally had to sit trot and slow him way the freak down. got better but ...

the whole ride was just frustrating. it's the same thing the last few rides. I can't seem to find the happy place. He's hanging on me or I'm hanging on him. He's ducking to avoid contact but then he's running away on the forehand and way too big in his stride if I don't. and then i'm not riding with my body, i'm resorting to my hands, but then he feels like he's ignoring my legs unless i get him with my spur. So i cried... and it's just.. embarassing. Linda thought I was a decent enough rider to ask me to ride her horse and then I have a meltdown and lose my temper and blame my horse.... 

ugh...

shockwaved his stifles and SI joints when we got home. and he was still being a butt... hosed him off and kicked him out. 

will apologize tomorrow. also, off BC again because of my stupid boobs... so that's not helping.

photos: 8-26 oooof . videos from judy

Group Practice (Add WE videos)

 I ended up taking Dan to Oxford Manor this morning to practice some obstacles with Kirsten and Judy. It was fun. The weather was odd though and threatening to storm on us. But luckily it didn't. But good gravy it was positively STEAMY! Like so hot and humid and still. It was brutal. Luckily when the storm clouds got closer there was a tiny breeze. But it was rough. 

We warmed up and Dan felt pretty good. He saw Indy though and was adamant that they come say hi. Sadly she was going for a hack. I was hoping that the timing would work so she'd be riding as we were done and we could go hack, but alas. Dan and Indy played bitey face and just hung out while Missy and I talked briefly. And then Dan was so distracted when he left.. he basically watched him until he was out of eyesight. Awww. I know buddy.. he's your bestie. But Missy and I did talk about a beach trip this Winter, so.. fingers crossed!

After we warmed up we started doing some of the obstacles. I was doing the double slalom's but only weaving through the one side of lines to make it a single slalom. And then I did two more curves around invisible poles to finish, which put us really close to a red vertical. Which, was probably 2'9", maybe?? And as I went to bring the bend back around, Dan thought I was turning him to the jump! We were at the edge of it and almost on top of it, but he picked up his shoulders and took a half step of canter like he was gonna leap and I pulled him off! No dude! We are not jumping 2'9" in a western saddle from a trot when you have a bum stifle!! And then when we circled past it shortly after, he was making a bid for it again. Okay, okay, okay... but let's just go jump the cross rail instead. So we did. And he launched over it and popped me out of the saddle and I almost fell off. Ha! Why is it soooo hard to jump in a western saddle!?!? 

Anyways... we got down to business after that and played with the obstacles. We took turns and gave each other some advice. It was helpful and fun. Dan was kind of naughty and I got mad at him and spurred him and made him almost rear. (pop up). I felt bad, but dude... just... listen to my aids and do it. You've been doing it... why are you suddently ignorning me!!? But then he was good again. We did the livestock pen and I need more march. Which is hard, because Dan is long. But I tried and we got a little better. Then we did the bull line, which was good, but he gets quick at the end. And I've got to be careful with my depositing of the pole in the barrel, so it doesn't bounce out. We did the double slalom, which... was awful at first. That's the one he was so naughty at, but then he settled. We did the figure 8, which was hard. But the drums was better. Weird, but Kirsten said the drums are a bit farther apart. But, I can still make my figure 8 circles wider if I wanted. So I don't know. Then we did the switch cup and Kirsten had the upright poles. And she said that they were set to standard but maybe a hair narrow because they were 4' center to center instead of end to end. So Dan and I did fine the first time we did it and walked in. And he backed up decently. But then when we went back to it later and tried trotting in, it got hard. The trotting in was okay. We got a decent halt, although maybe a half step too far past. But then when we went to back, it got all crooked and he was taking out the poles and then we couldn't figure out how to recover. Doh! Eventually Kirsten widened the poles for us. I do think that if I just keep my head straight forward, instead of pivoting around to look behind us, it helps him stay straight. And if I don't use my legs, it helps. When I use my legs, I think he thinks I"m asking him to bend, and then he gets crooked. If I just "shush" and use my rein aids, he backs up pretty darn straight. We got it twice so we quit with that. 

We played with the gate but it's the metal arena gate and honestly.. it's just too short for me to do anything with. So I'll have to keep practicing the gate with my gate at home. She also had the pitcher so we played with that. I'm getting better at trotting in and trotting out. At the end, I decided I wanted to do the bull line, livestock pen, and pitcher once. I think he gets frustrated doing one at a time, so I wanted to put a few together. And he was pretty darn good! So we quit with that. Both Judy and Kirsten had gotten off, which made me sad. I was thinking we could do a cool down hack. Oh well. I could still go by myself. So we did. But instead of going back to Ashland, we just did the little loop around the back pasture at Oxford Manor. It was nice. And a nice gradual hill. And as hot as it was.. we didn't need to do more. Especially because I was getting headachy and hungry. Some electrolyte water did help though. And sadly, despite the fact that I had remembered to grab Dan's ice packs for his stifle boots, I forgot the stifle boots themselves. So.. no icing. I'm sorry sir. 

I definitely need to practice at home. I keep "winging it" and just doing the patterns without the actual obstacles. Which, is probably helpful to some degree, but.. when you have the actual obstacles and have them measured.. it's a lot harder!! So I definitely need to set things up. And I need to make sure that my switch cup poles are jump standards so that I can practice the backing up with the poles because that makes it harder! 

He got the afternoon off and then when the storm hit, he was running amuck. And then had a nice big roll as the thunder was rolling! But then he came in for dinner and brought the girls with him, like a good boy. I should have shockwaved him tonight but I figured I'd do it tomorrow since I wanted to ride Lyric tomorrow and I need to do her too. Oh, but I did fix his bosal hanger. Except now I want to swap out the rivets to green ones and maybe paint his bosal itself some green stripes. 

Playing at home

 the anatomical headstall is a no go. smooshes against his eyes. So, back to the drawing board. went back in the fleece lined cinch which is better for girthing at least. 

felt decent today. had a good ride. did the drums and he was amazing so didn't drill them! did the gate and reverse gate. played with bend and circles and turn on the forehand and haunches and halts. lift into the halts. so they aren't as abrupt. did canter both ways. Left lead felt way better today than the right, interestingly. leg yielded.

good pony. 

iced after. Meh... they don't seem to want to stay up high enough and didn't make his leg very cold.. but i only left them on for 10 minutes... Will try again. 

tomorrow.. practicing obstacles with Kirsten and judy at oxford manor.

photos: 8-26 handsome, ride at home, soggy pants

Shod and back to Ashland

 change of plans... again. ;) ha

farrier in am, but his grinder broke, so did funny and then he had to come back later. So instead of riding funny at home and then meeting sharon with baylor and dan, i had to ride funny at ashland first with sharon. then patrick came back and finished lyric and got Dan done. So crazy how much better his posture is just with back shoes. added wedges up front and 3d pads behind this go round. dan was bored and tired of napping so he tried to help

then went to ashland solo. had a nice hack int he woods. his first ride back after steroid injections. put sharons pad on to test ride and rode in bosal with headstall. and blue mohair girth. all the changes.felt a bit wobbly/weak behind in the walk but trot was strong and nice. Tripped a good bit at the walk. Need to do some more sweeney shoulder rehab i guess. but trot felt great and swingy. trotted in the fields some. fluffing hay. then went to xc field and trotted some logs and practiced walking through water with no shenanigans twice. good boy. then cantered to see how the pad worked... not too shabby. tried to "run away" with me on the left lead... fun, or pain? splashed in lake briefly then went back. ran into judy and teller and chatted a bit. dan was silly. kept making faces at teller, who was not fazed one bit.. which pissed dan off. ha ha.. funny

good boy

photos: 7-26 finally, 7-26 pedicure

videos: pedicure and trotting at ashland