Cheated...

 Well.. my plans changed a bit. I had a crown replaced this morning and then Jacel was coming to teach me at noon and 2 pm here, because Jean's out of town so she had to teach the interns here. Plus, yesterday the arena's were still closed at Ashland. So great... and then I planned to take Dan to Ashland for a hack. But then.... the arena's opened up and I debated taking Funny for my lesson there. So I rode Lyric first and asked Jacel and she said it would be better to go to Ashland for Funny, so we did. But then I also had to get gas so then I didn't get home til 4:45. So... no Ashland for Dan. Heck, no ride even for Dan. But.. that's probably not the end of the world. Except he's already eating blankets, so.. he needed to do something. 

 

So... I snagged him and we headed to the roundpen. I set the poles up in a zigzag and then we had the two alternating raised half cavalettis'. So we did that 10 times. Then we did some "high fives". He was pretty good. We even got a few trips through with him totally relaxed and soft in his neck and topline. Because.. ugh.. he's lost so much muscle. 

 

Hopefully after the holidays I can get back to a program... I think Funny will get a breather and we'll focus on groundwork and core strength and physiotherapy for all of them. And just trail ride, but taking turns. 

Celtic knots and saddles

 The sailor’s Celtic knot, characterized by its infinite loop, symbolizes loyalty, friendship and the continuity of life. Historically, sailors would weave these knots as a keepsake to remember their loved ones while at sea, symbolizing their hopes of reunion.

This knot serves as a reminder of the interconnectedness of all things and the unbreakable bonds that hold us together, even across great distances.

Oh Daniel....

You sir... are a heathen! Ha.. This is why we can't have nice things!

Today's weather was awful. That light misting rain that doesn't really get you wet but... makes you feel miserable and cold and dreary. So Mike and I put up Christmas lights this morning and I did some chores. It finally stopped long enough that I took Lyric to Ashland. Then when I got home it was still not raining again so I grabbed Funny and headed to the arena. It was sloppy! We noticed that Dan was entertaining himself. 

Poor Lyric... 

He is such a menace! But, by golly that velcro is STRONG!!! Her neck attachment is still fully attached! Although he did eat a strap off Funnys yesterday. Now I now how! 

Sadly I didn't have time to play with him because once I finished with Funny it was sunset. But... he tried to beg for cookies anyways. I'm sorry buddy... they're all gone!! But thank you for being cute and friendly and not cranky! (By the way... WHEEEEEENNNNN is his CBD going to get here??? I ordered it Nov 26th and it's still "processing"). 

 

 

Same old song and dance

 Well damn... the blues are creeping back in. I was doing so well too. Maybe it's the multiple dreary days without much sunshine.. maybe it's the hormones.. maybe it's just... Dan's roller coaster of life...

 

I worked a half day today (playing catch up from my back) and was supposed to meet a friend to ride at Ashland. She was going to let me borrow her DP western saddle to try on Dan. Yay! But the weather was miserable and there was a mild chance of rain. Luckily it skirted around us, but she bailed at the last minute because of health issues. (totally fair... and I was half tempted to bail myself). But I went anyways. I tossed Liz's western saddle in the truck because I figured I could try that one.

 

So we got to Ashland and no one else was there. Luckily I noticed on the way (thanks to the camera!) he had pulled his halter off before we made it even off Dixie road. Whoops! So I was able to put it back on before I unloaded him. Which was extra helpful because he was amped up! I'm not sure why he's gotten so spooky lately. There wasn't anything to be scared of. But he was shaking. He wasn't quite as petrified as he is with the sprinklers, but... I was able to groom him and pick his feet and get him tacked up. But I cannot figure that saddle out. My thought was that they should sit in front/on top of the shoulders.. not behind the scapula like English saddles. So I pulled it way up, but then it slid right back behind his scapula. And then it looked too far back. And that girth is WAYYYY too small, which is interesting, as it's supposedly Party's and G's and if anything.. they have a bigger belly than Dan. I made it work, but... I wasn't entirely sure it was going to hold. I did manage to get on and ride a small circle in the area in front of the arenas. But... given his alertness, the fact that I wasn't sure it fit him right and I didn't want to hurt him, and the fact that I wasn't sure the girth was going to hold... I decided ot take it off and swap it out for his bareback pad. 

 

We headed out on the trails and he was still a bit high headed and on alert and even startled at a squirrel. Buddy!! You're not this guy! Luckily I was chill and calm and didn't get upset and he settled down pretty quickly. When we got out by the small lake, we noticed the dredging equipment and they were banging metal so... that may have been what he was reacting to. So we opted to go the other way. We had a nice ride. I trotted a tiny bit.. because I don't know... to feel him out... because maybe it'll help him heal? I don't know... he's not exactly stall resting and he's been cantering some in the pasture, so... maybe some trot isn't the end of the world? I'm not exactly sure it'll benefit him any.. maybe stretching some of the scar tissue? Maybe encouraging him to use it properly vs buck wild? Or maybe it is what it is and short of putting him on stall rest he's going to broken forever? I don't know. I was doing okay and we were having a decent time. And then I thought... "oh, let's go get a photo of the Christmas tree". And then... I spiraled. I tried not to. But I did. We were rehabbing his suspensory surgery this time last year because I remember that I wasn't supposed to be riding him for that long but I wanted to see the tree and didn't think it would take us that much longer than our alloted time, but then it wasn't where I thought it was and we ended up doing a much longer ride than we were "allowed". And... that just kind of broke me. A little bit. I mean... why should it? His whole life practically has been rehabbing from one thing or another. It just.... feels more final this time. Because.. it is. And I just... felt so sad. Especially because he's not even really "pasture" sound. I mean.. he's fine.. he's walking and trotting sound, but his canter is awful. Bloody awful. And he hurts...because you can see it when he canters.. he wants to. So badly... and he does, but then he struggles. And he seems a bit more depressed to me. Maybe he's just finally maturing, but... he seems like he's kind of giving up too. And that's just not fair. He's fought so hard, for so long... I just want him to be comfortable. So I cried... a little. I tried to pray. It's just... I can't seem to hear what God is saying.. not directly I guess. What do you want me to do for him? What does our future look like? What do I need to learn so that my pony can be happy and comfy? And... my brain can't quiet down enough to hear anything. So I'm just left with all these closed doors... and sadness... and repeating the same process over and over again, because I can't learn. I was thinking that my western plan was a good one because I had felt peace at giving up on eventing and dressage... but maybe.. maybe even that is too ambitious. Maybe I should just be smart.. not buy a saddle... wait until he's cantering on both leads happily in the field and in the bareback pad before I even consider buying him a saddle. Maybe this is me getting ahead of myself and not learning patience. Yet again. Sigh... I just... dont' want to give up on my friend. But am I making his life more miserable because I'm too stubborn to give up... I don't know. 

   

So then I just... stopped thinking about it. Mostly. I tried to think about other things. I don't want Dan to feel my sadness and think it's his fault. I let him snack on all the green grass. And we trotted little spurts here and there. And we chatted about nothing... 

 

When I got home I saw something on FB about how horses just want to feel safe... and I was sort of proud of myself for not losing my cool and getting frustrated at him for being scared today. And just being there for him. Like the article said good horseman do... they just instinctually get that by being self regulated and calm and steady and there, the horse feeds off us and realizes they are safe. But then I started thinking about how maybe that is why he's angry and grumpy and guarded. Because I'm not always the same. I'm tempermental.. I have good days and bad days and some days I'm over reactive and some days I don't care and some days he gets yelled at and some days he doesn't. Or maybe it's because he hurts. Or maybe.. it's just because he's food protective and nothing more. I don't know. I'm tired... so tired. I just want him to be happy and comfortable and for him to love me. 

 

Stupid weather. Stupid hormones....

 

 

Bored Brother

 Poor Dan. I think he's bored!

He didn't get worked on by Lexi yesterday... and he didn't get ridden yesterday (no one did) or today (both girls did). I turned Lyric back out tonight and he went running off! He's been cantering a good bit, but... mostly the left lead. However, he did the right lead today but ugh.. it's so pogo-y and awful looking. He definitely does NOT want to use that right hind at the canter. It's staying very straight. I don't know if I should have Dr. Barrow look at it again or just keep waiting... Probably should keep waiting... 

But he did make me smile today because after he ran a bit, he did this while I was trying to get him running on video. :) 

 

And tomorrow... I'm meeting Deb and Arwen and she's letting me try Dan in her DP western saddle to see how I like it. :) Yay! Which also means Dan gets to go for a ride. 

Bonus Groundwork Day

 December is always a tough month, with lots of cancellations at the last minute. And it's aggravating because it throws my schedule off and I don't get paid unless I work... but today, I chose to be grateful for the last minute mid day cancellation. I went to the first barn and did three horses and then was able to come home. My first client made me some delicious frittata's that I ate for lunch. And then, the weather was cold but not awful so I headed out to play with the ponies. 

I decided that I would do groundwork with them and since they were all up by the arena, it was easy to fit all three of them in! Yay! Lyric went first and then it was Dan's turn. 

He was cheeky today and chompy. But he stayed engaged and we were able to do a full 25 minutes without him pulling away or getting loose or tearing off. Yahoo! We started with pillars and then we walked some poles. I had set up a fan so we did that. He has a much bigger stride in general than Lyric so he was a bit tight even in the middle. We did try to shorten him to fit him in the narrower side, but it was hard for him. We also walked the poles with the ends raised. We did that a few times. 

I also made him weave in and out of the poles, like a maze, to help work on lateral suppleness. His hind end swung out a few times but he also managed to bend for most of it. We played with the shallow serpentine over two poles end on end too. He's pretty good at that. We did some leg yields in hand too. 

I did also try the side pass over the pole. He was pretty good side passing one way... (why is it so hard to remember now.. it's only been 5 hours!) but pretty resistant the other way. I think going right is the hard way. I'm guessing it's his stifle? I did get a nice side pass going the other way and the we did manage to get a short side pass going the hard way. He can do it without the pole so then we added the pole back in and he got it. I didn't push it too much because I figured it's because it hurts. But I did want to push him a tiny bit to help strengthen it. In theory. Hopefully I didn't screw him up. We then went back to all the other games and he was fine. 

Then it was time for Funny. But when I tried to bring Funny into the arena, he reached over the gate and took a big ol' chomp out of her blanket! No sir! So rude. I think he was mad it was her turn to get cookies. 

No photos other than equilab unfortunately. But yay for getting to do some work with them!

I slept in a little bit today but still felt icky when I woke up. I think I have my annual 48 hr flu bug thing. Ugh. Plus my neck is killing me from sleeping funky. And it's freezing! So, instead of riding early, I did invoices and reports for a bit. Then it was about time to go get Dan to meet Kelli at Ashland. 

We headed over and got ready. She lunged so I took Dan to the arena to do some pillar work. We got bored fairly quickly and he was overbending when I tried to do leg yields in hand, so.. I just got on and we did some lateral work at the walk under saddle. He seemed okay to do leg yields, shoulder in and haunches in. And I was able to keep his body straighter from up top. He did lick his lips a good bit and his was moving but it didn't seem to be that upset tongue. 

Then we headed for the XC field and went on a hack. It was nice. We hit the woods and did the outer loop til we crossed the creek. And then we headed back up to the lake and up the dam. It was nice. Cold, but not terrible. And so many leaves on the ground you couldn't really chat but that's okay. Kelli watched us trot a tiny bit and said that she thought he looked like he didn't want to engage that right hind as much. And was maybe a hair off. He felt pretty sound at the trot. And at the walk he felt soooo much better today. I only felt a few short steps, which could have been due to the rocks and him being barefoot, balance, or his stifle. He tripped up front twice, but Marvin did 3 times, so... maybe that's just clutzy or too many leaves. 

 

It was a nice ride though and I had mentioned to Kelli that I wasn't sure how to continue with his rehab because I wasn't sure where he was in his healing with the patella fracture. I wasn't even sure if we were two months into healing or 5 months into healing! But I did mention that he did seem to be standing more square and resting that right hind less. I still hadn't seen him rest the left hind yet. But then after I untacked him after our ride, I looked over and he was resting the left hind!!! WHOOO HOOO!! But I still think that I'll do walk trail rides (and not 4 days a week) with a tiny bit of trotting just to stay abreast of how he's feeling until the new year. We'll get through the holidays and then I'll probably schedule a recheck with Dr. Barrow to reradiograph and ultrasound and see where we're at. Then from there, I can make a plan. But no reason to rush it now. Although I do think he's starting to look a little better in his topline and neck since I started hacking him again. I'll have to keep doing the groundwork too to help his posture. And if he starts looking bad again, I'll back off. 

 
And... I'll keep praying and trying to hear God's plan for us. 

Hackamore = Snackamore!

 Happy Thanksgiving!!!

 

I am grateful and thankful and blessed! I'm so glad that the sun was out and Dan and I were able to go hack at Ashland. We had the whole place to ourselves! Ahhhhhhhhh... 

 

We had a lovely ride. He was a tiny bit lame at the walk at times... It almost felt up front but I think it's the hind end... creating up front feelings. It was almost like he got stuck and was lame and then he'd kind of unhitch and smooth out. And when we trotted (just a tiny bit) he was sound. I got a little sad.... because... I want him to be sound and happy. But then I remembered.... it's going to take time. And I am on my horse... who could have broken his femur... or any other disastrous situation... And we're having fun. The view is beautiful. He's hacking.. he's snackin'.... he's happy! I'm happy! And I went back to enjoying the ride instead of being sad that he wasn't healing quicker. 

 

We hit some hills and walked the "water treadmill". We even did a tiny bit of trot in the water complex too. Just because. I do like him in the hackamore. He looks so handsome. And he's just as easy (or hard) to get out of the grass than with the bit. And he enjoys the unimpeded chomping. 

 

I talked to God... I realized yesterday when telling a friend about how I figured it was a neon sign when I fell off him and she asked me if I had asked God about it. I .... uh..... oh.... oooohhhh... I was sort of flabbergasted. I mean... I've been praying and praying and praying... and I have felt at peace with the decision to just... switch to western.. no more eventing... no more jumping other than popping over little logs for fun on good days. So, I suppose that I figured that I had "talked" to God about it. But... I haven't. I've just TOLD God... And sure... I've "heard" His No's... His Not Yets... but only because I didn't listen for so long that He had to make them neon signs whacking me upside the head. (or back). But... I am still trying to control the situation... I'm still doing "my will"... so, I tried to pray about it. To really ask God what His will in the situation was. Because, maybe... it's NOT to go western.. maybe it's NOT to ride at all.. maybe it is to go back to dressage (doubtful, but I know God CAN fix him.. it's just.. not sure He WILL). But like... I don't know. I have no idea, because... I've not asked.. I just keep barging ahead and trying to stick to the plan.. and then find a new plan... and then plan C... Sigh. So... hopefully I can actually stop long enough to listen and hear what He has to say about the situation and then... be obedient. It didn't happen today.. but I was able to stop long enough to think and try. And hopefully I can try again tomorrow. And the next day... and the next. And maybe, one day, I'll be able to listen and heed. 

 

So, I'm also grateful for mercy and forgiveness and that God doesn't shame me. And the beautiful view!