Lightning and Lame

 Ugh.... 

I'm trying VERY VERY Hard to not spiral into a pity party...  It dawned on me that I've got a WEEK.. one week before our show. And that means I can ride today (planned to trail ride so I can apologize to Dan and we can be friends again), tomorrow and Sunday and then Tuesday. Tuesday I have my lesson with Liz. Then I work and we leave on Friday and we will practice on Friday and show Saturday. He's already gotten over a week off because of his injection and then missing a shoe. And then the last two or three rides we've had have been awful. And then my plans got all messed up for Lyric and Funny because of their missing shoes.. and the at least I did jump Lyric at Ashland by myself that day because she's now toe touching lame again and Patrick pulled her shoe and so I can't ride her. Which messed up my Chatt hills XC schooling plans with Funny and my lesson at Ashland before her show. But... it's fine.. it's fine... It'll all work out... it's not the end of the world... 

 

So today I was supposed to ride with Sharon and Kelli. Kelli told me she may not be able to depending on how long it took to move her kid. So fair... but it still ended up kind of throwing me off. I wanted to trail ride Dan... so riding with her would have been a good plan. But I could have also ridden him with Sharon. But Marvin loves Dan and does better with her than with Funny, so... I rode Funny with Sharon this morning and then was going to ride Dan with Marvin. And I guess, it did really work out.. in a sense. But... ughhhh. After my ride on Funny I got home and ate lunch and Kelli still had more moving to do, although she also prewarned me that she might not be able to make it. I decided I could stall a little bit and go drag the arena and set up my obstacles so that I could do that tomorrow and/or Sunday. So I did. And that took way longer than I wanted. I got most everythign up but decided to quit at that point and check in. It was close to 3ish and I wanted to make sure I didn't run out of time with Dan. She said she still wasn't done but also wasn't sure she'd have time, so I told her I was going to go and hopefully she could join me later into my ride. 

 

So I grabbed Dan and we headed out. I had a slight suspicion that he wasn't quite right. He just looked a tiny bit short on a foot, but I couldn't figure out which foot and he wasn't ever really consistent or walking long enough each time I saw it. So I didn't think too much about it. We walked our raised poles before we loaded up and headed to Ashland.

I tacked him up and tried him out in his new breastcollar and pad. It all fits and looks good. But it's not exactly the right match. Ugh... The turquoises match well enough but the pad is more blue and black and the BC is more blue and brown. Ugh... But it might work well enough. Anyways... I got on and we hit the trails. We got to the overturned boat by heron lake when Sharon messaged asking if I was at Ashland still (She had left her mounting block and I saw it when I was tacking up and messaged her that I grabbed it for her). Apparently it was storming at her house. Ugh... It was blue skies when I pulled in but it was definitely dark in the distance. Dark enough that I closed my truck windows (thank God I did!). She told me to ride quick! 

 

We headed out and by the time we got to the trail beside the "peninsula" of the swimming lake it had started to sprinkle. Big fat rain drops. No worries... it's cooling it down. I can clean my saddle. We headed to the lake and by the time we hit the beach it was coming down pretty steady. Ugh.. so we headed to Raccoon loop and did that path. He was fussy and short and not striding out. He almost felt like his hind end kept getting stuck. I couldn't tell for sure but assumed it was his right hind. It was almost like he didn't want to bring that leg forward. Or at least that is what I assumed/thought. And then he didn't want to go downhill, so we took the shallow section. It was really raining decently by now and I was getting soaked. My boots were starting to fill up and my hat was dripping water off the brim. Sigh... Okay, but... it's a pop up storm, maybe it'll pass quick. Then I heard the first thunder rumbler... then another... then a flash of lightning. Okay.. maybe we head in. And then when we got to the Never Ending Story stones there was a big flash of lightning and 2 seconds alter a boom. Okay... time to go. We trotted a tiny bit and.... NOOOOOO. Dan was lame. Like.. head bobbing legit lame. I coudn't quite tell if it was front end or hind end, so I'm guessing hind end. Although I can't tell if it's right or left honestly. And maybe it's right front... although when he was walking in the pasture I maybe would have guessed left front. Sigh... We had another good lightning flash and thunder boom. So I made him trot to the water complex, then calmly walk through, then trot off again a few steps. But he was definitely lame so I pulled up. I was sort of hoping that the storm would pass and we could carry on as I could see some blue skies ahead. But, then... he was legit lame and obviously not just a few steps of it. So... in we headed. Plus the rain wouldn't quit. We got to the side warm up area by the arenas and a suddenly there was a big sizzle and flash and then an immediate massive heavy boom! I honestly think lightning might have hit about 25 feet away from us! Bless Dan for being a saint. He and I both flinched/jumped but he didn't do anything. Okay... that was REALLY close and scary. Let's go bubs. I know you hurt but let's trot back to the trailer please. We trotted  a little bit but he was really lame so I gave up. We got back to the trailer and I pulled tack off and loaded him up and we headed home. 

Seriously though???? UGHHHHHH. I want to cry! I texted Patrick and am assuming that when he comes to put Lyrics shoe back on this weekend, he'll check Dan. But good gravy... we've only got a week before we leave for the show. I need to practice.... I need to practice the test AND obstacles. That's at least two rides. And I've only got tomorrow, Sunday and Tuesday. And Tuesday I've got a lesson with Liz. And I honeslty don't know if it's a hot nail... or his poor stifle. Or the other leg that's giving out because he's over-riding it from the bum stifle. And I'm currently mad about that because... I took him to the vet two weeks ago to check and make sure we weren't missing anything else... and I didn't stand up and make sure that we flexed other places, because... his stifle looks so bad we just assumed. But.. maybe it wasn't his stifle. Maybe it's the good stifle.. or the left hind tendon sheath again. We don't know, because we didn't check. And now, it's too late to do anything about it before the show. And... I know.. it's just a show... a measly beginner class/lowest level class show.. But I was really hoping to win that belt buckle. Sigh.. I dont know why it matters so much to me. It shouldn't... not to the detriment of my horse. And maybe.. it's not even that.. it's that I am realizing this is the end... and now he's not even sound for trail riding and.. that breaks my heart. And then.. I'm overwhelmed already this week because of the whole breast cancer thing and.. it's just... it's been a whole lot. I've kept up a good attitude about it and.. I should. But.. Dan's just.. my glue... and ... I feel like I'm losing him despite doing all the things I can... And now I feel like.. this is it.. the end... if I can't get him through this.. then he'll fall apart entirely when I have to take a month (or more) off and then he's done... done done. Sigh... But.. my God is good. And I don't know His plans. And He will make good out of the bad. So.. if it's His will that Dan is done.. I have to trust it. Maybe He knows that Dan just needs a few months off and then he will bounce back again. I don't know. And I need to remind myself to just trust Him. Stop stressing and making things up. Maybe,... and probably likely.. it's a hot nail and Patrick will pull it and best case scenario, he's sound enough to ride immediately after and nothing else is lost... worst case scenario... we either miss the show entirely and don't win a walk/trot belt buckle... or we have to go to the show cold and just do our best. I've already tried to remind myself the whole goal of this WE endeavor is to have fun with Dan again and I've somehow made it not fun this past two weeks. Sigh... I'm trying to listen God... I'm trying. Thank you for protecting us during the storm and the drive home. Thank you for giving me all the extra rides I wasn't ever promised to begin with. Thank you for letting Dan still be here, when he easily couldn't have been. 

But... dang I had a big pity party on my drive home. Sigh...